Goodbye
by laurzz
Summary: DannyLindsay - Is it ever really going to be goodbye?
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: So these season 5 spoilers have really gotten the muse working overtime. CAUTION: CONTAINS POSSIBLE SPOILERS..._**

**_And hey - PTB - I thought of this first, ya hear. I want a cut in the DL goodness :)_**

**_Hugs to eveninstarz14 - thanks for your help, Meg! :)_**

* * *

_I can honestly say, you've been on my mind. _

_Since I woke up today, up today._

_I look at your photograph all the time._

_These memories come back to life,_

_And I don't mind._

_I remember when we kissed,_

_I still feel it on my lips._

_The time that you danced with me,_

_With no music playing._

_If I remember those simple things,_

_I remember till I cry._

_But the one thing I wish I could forget_

_A memory I want to forget,_

_Is goodbye_

_Miley Cyrus – Goodbye_

_--_

_--_

Glancing around the lab, I expect to see him. I know he isn't here, but I do.

It's instincts and habit, I guess. I'm just so used to seeing him. I glance at his desk. Left in a pristine condition – nothing out of place – something that so isn't Danny. Everything is always in chaos.

But then again, he hasn't been himself. Not since that day I told him I loved him.

He didn't even tell me he was leaving. I guess I know what it feels like now, not to be told.

I sigh, and wave politely at Stella who's in trace now, who's frantically waving at me.

The joys of glass walls, right?

I open my drawer, and an envelope is resting on top of the usual suspects of my pens and bits and bobs.

Picking it up, I turn it over

Montana – in his messy capital letter style of writing. He's such a cop when it comes to his writing.

Well, I presume it's him – it could quite easily be Flack or Mac.

I can feel my heart take residence in my throat now. I can just see it being a break up letter.

I glance around the lab, and decide that now probably isn't the best time to open it.

I open my drawer to put it there for safekeeping, just as Mac comes into my office.

"You found it then?" he smiles

My eyes dart to the letter as my shaking hand holds it up "This?"

"Yeah, he wanted me to make sure you got it."

"Should I – do you – does he-"

"He says everything is explained in that letter,"

Nodding I glance down at the envelope, "Mac, could I –"

"Take all the time you want, Lindsay."

I smile at him, grab my jacket from the back of my chair and touch his arm lightly as walk past him. I'm making a habit of that, touching his arm.

I walk down the hallway, engrossed in just looking at the word Montana scrawled across the front. Slightly dreading what's inside of this "letter".

I finally reach the roof, and sit in a secluded point – where we've spent many break times, just us – gazing up at the stars, teasing each other, comforting each other when a case got too heavy, or just sitting, enjoying each other's company.

I brush the dust from "his" chair and sit down on it.

My thumb is posed underneath the envelope, ready to rip it open. I close my eyes, and take a deep breath.

I pull it out of the envelope and carefully unfold the piece of paper. Taking one last breath, I start to read.

_Lindsay, _

_I bet you thought you were the only one that wasn't any good at goodbyes._

_I owe you a __huge__ explanation, I really do. But, right now, I can't. It's not that I don't want to, I do. I just don't know how to do that. I think I need to find the answers for myself before I even attempt to explain this mess to you._

_I never, ever meant for any of this to happen, Lindsay. I hope you know that, I need you to know that. Just know that everything up until Ruben I meant – I meant it with my whole heart, and I still do. But now, well, things haven't been – well._

_Let me start again – I'm not the Danny you fell in love with. _

_I'm working on being that person again though. Honest. _

_I just need to work some stuff out. Some? Who am I kidding – I have a lot to work out. _

_I'm just sorry that I can't be there for you. Because in all honesty Linds, I miss you. I miss my best friend, and it kills me, leaving like this... _

_Just so you know, Lindsay. I never, ever thought of you as a shallow, clingy girlfriend – never – not once. I should have told you that in the office that day._

_But, really, I should have said a lot of things in that office but I didn't. _

_None of this is your fault – I'm not walking away from you, from us. Remember that. I guess I'm walking away from me, in a way. _

_You know what I thought about this morning, the time that you really wanted to dance in central park._

_--_

_--_

_--_

I glance up and blink back some tears while taking momentary comfort from the sunrays breaking through the thick cloud. I break off from reading to remember that day in the park, well that night. We'd had gone to see a Broadway show. He had hated every damn second – and so had I, in all honesty.

But I wasn't about to tell him that.

--

--

--

"Come on" she giggled as she tugged on his hand

"You know I'm humouring you, right?" he laughed as he flung her jacket over his shoulder and took her hand with his free hand.

"Dance with me" she smiled 5 minutes into the walk

"Um, Montana. There ain't any music"

"You don't need music to dance." She reasoned, "Why, you scared?" she grinned leaning up to kiss him

Danny laughed as he flung her jacket onto a nearby park bench, took her hand with one of his, and rested his other on the small of her back, pulling her close. "I can't believe you're getting me to dance."

"What," she smiled as she rested her small head against his strong chest "this on the list of things Danny Messer doesn't do?"

"Nah, I dance" he smiled as he kissed the top of her head, as they swayed together "that list needs revising anyway"

--

--

--

I smile as the memory makes me forget for a split second the disrepair our relationship is in right now. Looking back to the letter I begin to read again.

And how much I didn't want to.

Sighing, I roll my eyes. I should have seen that one coming.

But I'm glad I did. It was one in a lifetime thing, that – just you and me, lost in our own little world, like nothing else mattered.

What I'm trying to say is that I still want that – and I'm working to get that back. I screwed up, more than you probably know.

I know when you heard I had gone on "vacation" you probably, thought I had just gone, left.

_Well, this isn't goodbye Linds; it's a see ya later. _

As I read the last line, I just let the tears fall for a few minutes. I've held too many back to care anymore.

Wiping away the tears, I look at the letter one more time, and see a small "PTO" in the corner. I take a deep breath and turn the letter over.

_Love, Danny x_

It's so simple, so typical, so him. Well, what I expect he would be like.

I make my way back to the 35th floor, deciding I have taken enough time.

Clutching the letter close, I see Stella make her way across the lab towards me.

"You alright, kiddo? Mac said-"

"I'm fine" I smile genuinely.

After all - I know, it's "See you later" - it isn't goodbye.

--

--

--

_**R&R? it's much appreciated :)**_


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: So much for this being a oneshot then? I think it will have about 3 more chapters. But who knows? We'll see. Huge thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter one, it meant alot to get such a positive reponse :) _**

**_Huge hugs to Meg - i can't thank you enough for your help. And hugs to Twinkeyrocks, just cause i wub her, and miss her. _**

_"I look around me, and I want you to be there_

_Cause I miss the things we shared._

_I look around you, it's empty and you're sad._

_Because you miss the love we had._

_You used to talk to me like; I was the only one around,_

_The only one around…_

_We used to have this figured out,_

_We used to breathe without a doubt._

_When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see._

_We used to have this under control._

_We never thought – we used to know._

_Can we get this back, can we get this back?_

_To how it used to be"_

_Chris Daughtry – Used To._

--

_--_

I click the "cancel" button on my phone for the 3rd time this morning. I'm on "vacation" – to deal with things. The last thing I should be doing is calling the place I've run from.

I just didn't expect it to be this hard. I mean, I'm fully aware I wasn't dealing back in New York – but I mean, I ain't doing any better here.

In fact, I think I'm actually driving Louie crazy. But, I'm about a million percent positive he wouldn't say anything. He just wouldn't.

After he got out of the hospital, he just disappeared, had no idea where he had gone. Neither did Mommy or Pop – but I had other things on my mind, and therefore pushed Louie to the back of it.

Until he called me 3 weeks ago to see how I was, and wanted to know whether I had any vacation time free to come and see him.

I jumped at the chance.

He had made a new life for himself. Cut himself off from the gang circuit. Got a new job in construction, married the girlfriend he had for a year and a half, and now has a kid on the way.

It's like we had switched places in a way. I was proud of him. And he was of me. Until I told him about Lindsay, and what I did.

_Lindsay. _

I wonder whether Mac gave her the letter – and what she thought of it? Whether she thought that it was just some bullshit excuse, and doesn't want anything more to do with me.

I mean, I wouldn't blame her. It'd hurt – it'd kill me – but I wouldn't for one-second blame her.

But what I wouldn't give to get us back to how we used to be. Just for one day, to forget – so that I could tell her all the things I should have told her, instead of putting it off, telling myself I had plenty of time to tell her how I felt.

I think talking to Louie was exactly what I needed, just spending time with him, makes me – well, makes me want to be who I was before.

He changed – that means I can as well – I know where I'm aiming for, he didn't – he took a wild guess, leaped and went with his instincts, and he ended up with a wife and a kid – two people he would lay down and die for, and two people he would kill for.

As soon as I told him what had happened with Rikki and everything, he did two things. First was whack me over the back of my head, like he used to when we were kids, and the second was he'd asked me what I had done to fix it?

And all I could do was sit and stare at him. I had done nothing. Sure I had called her, asked if we could talk. But didn't take the leap that he had done. I didn't put myself out there, like I should have done.

Then, after I had said nothing, he sighed and patted me on the back, saying I had a way to go, before I finally reached the other side.

He was the one that drove me to Rikki's. Booked the day off work, filled the tank up, and loaded me into the car.

It wasn't until we pulled up in front of a house and he killed the engine, that I asked what we were doing. He told me he had been snooping through my phone, and saw the text message from Rikki, telling me her new address. He figured that to be able to let this whole ordeal go – I needed to talk to her – get it out of my system.

For a split second, I wanted to kick his ass for going through my stuff, but after thinking about it, he was just helping me to heal, which is why I had left New York in the first place.

He looked at me, then looked at his watch and mumbled, "Haven't got all day- this side of the century would be real nice, D"

I flicked him, _childish, I know_ – but it was the only thing I could think of doing in that moment, before I got out of the car.

I wasn't sure what I was going to say – and was hoping that it'd all fall into place once she opened the door.

I stood for what seemed like hours with my hand hovering over the doorbell. I just couldn't press it. If I pressed it, she'd come to the door, and if she came to the door, I'd have to talk to her. And that – that was something that scared me. I would have to deal with this – whatever _this_ was. Sordid affair? Comfort? Mistake? Wrong? Bad?

Then, he went and beeped the damn horn, scaring me to death, and making me push the doorbell. I turned to see him screech out of sight, figuring he would either pull up further down the road, or just do laps of the neighbourhood.

I could hear her, and I glanced down the path, thinking I would be able to make it out of sight, before she answered, but then I felt like actually kicking myself. I needed to do this – not for Lindsay – not for the team – not for the job – or the city,

For me.

"Danny?"

"Um, I – we-"

"Come in?"

Glancing down the street, I take a deep breath as I step across her threshold – hoping to god that when I crossed it later on, when I was going out – I would be a different man.

I smile at her kind offer of a drink or something to eat but refuse. I don't want to draw this process out any longer than I need to.

"I know why you're here," she said simply, nodding towards the couch as she took a seat in a chair.

"Good, cause I don't" I sigh as I sit, nervously perched on the edge of the couch.

"Sit back, you're gonna fall off"

"Look," I sigh, sitting back "I need to know – I need to know- I-" I shake my head, I don't even know what I need to know…

"Ruben's death wasn't your fault." She said simply, like as if she could read my mind.

I take a minute to look at her, and although we were two strangers, it became clear that we would probably be forever bounded by the guilt and devastation Ruben's death brought about.

"How is Lindsay?"

I narrow my eyes "How do you know about her?"

"Ruben mentioned meeting her a few times, just briefly – he was going, she was coming, you know how excited he got. Passed in the hallway the first time, I think. And, I saw pictures." She hesitated for a minute "I wish I could have apologised, I feel-"

"It isn't your fault, you weren't the one with the girlfriend, Rikki. This is all my fault, just one huge mess. I'm a Messer – it's in my name to mess things up."

"Ruben's death isn't your fault. You didn't pull that trigger Danny. No matter how many nights you lose sleep over it, or no matter how many times you ask yourself "What if" – it wont bring him back. We have to learn to live, and remember – remember his memory – something I feel-"

"We overlooked" I finished "we didn't –" I struggle for something to say to expand on what I mean

"Don't worry, I know what you mean" she smiled. "I don't know what you came for today Danny, but I hope whatever it was, you've got it."

I let out a deep breath and feel the tension and the stress slowly leave me. "I think I did," I say as I get up. "Something – something"

"Something clicked?" Rikki offered.

"Yeah," I smiled "something clicked."

I stand at her front door for a second, and not sure of how to say goodbye. I don't want to hug her – not that it'd bring back memories or feelings, there was just something that was telling me that it was, inappropriate, maybe?

"Well" she smiled as she held out her hand "I wish you all the luck in the world, Danny."

I take it, and shake it warmly. "Thank you, you too Rikki."

I open the door and glance up at the threshold. I take a deep breath, and walked forward – not once looking back.

I open the gate, and turn to shut it. She's stood, leaning against the door hand in the air, waving. "Good luck with Lindsay, Danny."

I smile and wave as Louie pulls up.

I slam the car door shut on that chapter of my life, leaving the angst, pain and suffering at the garden gate.

I sighed as I reclined the chair, and rested my knees on the dashboard.

"Welcome back, Danny Messer" Louie grins.

Now, I've closed that chapter of my life, I need to start on reworking the previous ones, get thing back to how they _used_ to be…


	3. Chapter 3

_You're not the person that you used to be;  
the one I want who wanted me.  
And that's a shame but,  
there's only so many tears that you can cry.  
Before it drains the light right from your eyes,  
and I can't go on that way.  
And so I'm letting of everything we were,  
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt._

_We built it up,  
to watch it fall.  
Like we meant nothing at all.  
I gave and gave the best of me,  
but couldn't give you what you need.  
You walked away,  
You stole my life.  
Just to find what your looking for.  
But no matter how I try,  
I can't hate you anymore._

_Sometimes you hold so tight,  
It slips right through your hands.  
Will I ever understand?_

_Nick Lachey I Can't Hate You Anymore._

--

--

I sighed as I zipped my dress up. It had been around three weeks since he had gone, but time hadn't made it any easier.

I sprayed a little perfume on my neck and twirled in the mirror – plastering a smile across my face, I stepped a little closer and stared into the mirror.

Who the hell was I trying to kid?

I wiped the fake smile off my face and sighed again – I should be excited, going out on a third date with some nice, lovely, considerate, sexy, emotionally stable, NYFD fire fighter.

The only thing that's wrong with him is the fact that he isn't Danny.

I take a deep breath as Rick knocks on the door.

Tonight was going to be better than last time. Whether it kills me, I won't think about Danny.

_I won't _

_I won't_

_I won't_

I smile as I open the door, and picture Danny stood there, arms outstretched with a bouquet of daisies.

I smile as I shut my door and accept Rick's polite kiss on my cheek as he reaches for my hand. And dread what lies ahead.

--

--

"Linds, you listening?"

"Mhmm," I smile, while I think to myself, _No_.

"So what do you think?"

Crap "About what, Rick?"

"Global warming"

"Well, I think it's something we need to deal with-"

"Lindsay, I wasn't actually talking about global warming. Is there something wrong?"

"I don't know."

"You like me, but your heart isn't in it?"

"It's not that – it's just-"

"Tell me what happened" he said as he rubbed my hand lightly.

"What happened, where, what?"

"You and Danny, why'd you break up?"

My eyes narrowed and instantly I felt defensive towards him. We hadn't broken up, as such.

Who the hell am I trying to kid? We did break up…

"If you need someone to listen to, I would sure love to be that person."

I smile at him, tears threatening to fall. Why did he have to be so nice?

"You want to go somewhere else," I ask, looking around "somewhere a little less-"

"Busy?"

I nod and he stands up and offers me his hand. "Lead the way, Lindsay"

--

--

"So that was it?" he asks as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Pretty much," I shrug "I told him I was letting go of him – he wasn't the person I fell in love with... I guess it felt that he didn't want me anymore-"

"Who wouldn't want you?" Rick gushed "Sorry, I didn't mean- I'm sorry – I didn't"

"Rick, it's fine – I should be apologising to you, messing you around like this."

"Lindsay, it's only our third date. It's not as if we're getting married, and you decide to tell me this now. You need a friend, I'm more than happy to listen."

I smile and take his hand "Thank you"

"You were saying?" He eyes encourage me to carry on.

"It's complicated, Rick." I sigh

"I got all the time in the word for you, Lindsay."

"Well then, should I start from the beginning?"

"Sounds like a good starting place." Rick smiled as he ordered two more coffees. "So, what's the story of Danny and Lindsay?" He smiled warmly.

I took a deep breath; it was time to let everything go.

--

--

"He didn't walk away Linds, he went to sort his head out"

"I know, but it just felt like he walked away from everything, I could have helped, if he had given me half the chance, I could have helped…"

"He didn't, and he knows that – he knows he didn't give you a chance – but he didn't walk away from you. That's what you have to understand"

"You're sticking up for him" I smirked as I took another sip of my sprite. There's only so much coffee even I can take sometimes.

"Just from a outsiders point of view, I think it is wise he left, if there is a chance of him coming back as that person you fell in love with, this time apart will be exactly what you both need. To put a perspective on your relationship."

"Rick, we gave up before we had even tried. We failed at the first hurdle."

He shook his head "do you honestly believe that? Because I don't. I don't even know him, I haven't seen him with you, and I know you have something together."

"You're just saying that." I sigh

"Look Linds," he smiled as he took my hands "I see two different options and paths you could take. One, quit while you're ahead. Hate him for turning into someone that he wasn't, and let go of everything you had."

"Or?" I say, desperately hoping option number two was a lot better than option one.

"Get over it, put the past behind you, and move on, together. You didn't build this up to watch it fall to the ground. You both have worked hard to make it work this far. Add all of this to experience, and allow it to let you both grow as individuals, and as a couple."

"I like the sound of option two."

"I thought you might" He chuckled at me. "Look, I know it's hard, but sometimes you have to take the leap, and put your differences to one side, and put everything else up on the table, offer all you have to give, and hope it's enough."

"And what if it's not?" I ask, taking a deep breath.

"Well then, you'll know that you tried your hardest to make this work."

"Do you charge a hourly rate?" I smile as he stands up to sit next to me.

"No, for a friend in need, I waiver my charges"

I slugged him on the arm, as he pulled me closer to him, and I rested my head on his shoulder.

And, for a minute, I forgot about Danny.

"He said it wasn't goodbye, remember. He's gonna be back, ready to kick my ass for taking his girl out."

"I'm not his girl, I can date whoever I want." I say, defensively as I take his hand, head still on his shoulder.

"I know, sweetie," he says warmly as he kisses my temple "And the person you want is him."

--

--

"How can I thank you for tonight, Rick?" I ask as he holds my bag while I search for my apartment keys.

"A house in the Bahamas will be sufficient." He chuckled as he gently put my bag back over my shoulder "Just to know you're happy is all that matters. That's enough"

"What did I do to deserve someone as nice as you?" I smile before I even realise what I've said.

"Karma isn't always a bitch, you know. And I'm here just to open your eyes about Danny. Sure, I'm nice, but I don't think you want nice. You want something more. You want that can't eat, can't sleep thing. And you don't have that with me. Danny though, you have that with him."

"I'm sorry Rick, I didn't mean to-"

"Lindsay, you didn't promise me a house in the suburbs with a kid, a cat and a Volvo, alright. It's been fun while it lasted. We had some nice nights out, you saw what else was out there, and now, you've realised that Danny is the person you want to be with. And that, babe, is fine. Alright?"

"How do you know me so well, I mean everything you've said tonight – nobody, not even Danny knows me this well. You know me better than I know myself."

"I'm a good judge of character" he grinned at me as he opened the door for me. "Everything will work out you know, Lindsay."

I smile and lean up to kiss his check "Thank you, Rick."

"It's been my pleasure. Keep my number save, if you ever need to talk again, I'm at the end of a phone call, remember that, alright?"

"I will" I smile as he shuts my door gently, and rest my forehead against it before I head off to bed.

_Please prove Rick right Danny, please._

_**R&R? It's much appreciated :D - Side note, huge thanks to Twinkeyrocks and Brinch. Love you girls! :)**_


	4. Chapter 4

_"On my knees, I'll ask_

_Last chance for one last dance?_

_Cause with you, I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand._

_I'd give it all, I'd give for us._

_Give anything, but I wont give up._

_I wanted, I wanted you to stay._

_Cause I needed, I need to hear you say-_

_That I love you, I loved you all along._

_And I forgive you, for being away for far too long._

_So keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore._

_Hold onto me, and never let me go."_

_-Nickleback – Far Away._

_--_

_--_

I put my final DD5 on my "finished" pile and let out a sigh of relief. For the first time since I can actually remember I'm not taking mountains of paperwork home with me.

_Great,_ I muse to myself, as I stretch, _nothing to occupy myself with_.

I glance at the office clock and let a smile creep across my face. One hour till clocking out time. And, if I'm lucky, we wont be requested at a scene.

Meaning I can go home and sleep the weekend away.

I sit for a few minutes, and just watch the crime lab. It's a fascinating place. So many people that excel at what they love to do.

New York really is the place where people come to live the dream.

A gentle knocking at the office door disturbs my thoughts. I wave Flack in and smile politely, praying to the higher powers that he isn't here to request my ass at a crime scene.

He places a piece of paper on my desk and grins at me.

"What's that?" I ask as I crane my neck to look at the small piece of paper.

"You better get going," He said simply as he turned toward the doorway

"Huh? Flack, what do you mean? Have I been requested at a scene?"

"Just read the information and go with your instincts, alright?"

I shake my head as he bounces off down the corridor. I turn the piece of paper over. It has 3 simple pieces of information on it.

JFK. 3PM, Flight #. 18275 K

My eyes widen and I take a deep breath.

_He's coming home. _

--

--

I take a deep breath as friends and family are reunited with loved ones. Some emotional welcomes home, some loving.

None that I see are awkward. And I pray to god that I'm not the exception.

I stare at the double doors leading from baggage claim, not even blinking. If I blink, I might miss him.

I glance at the little girl and her mother stood next to me. The little girl had been bouncing up and down, getting excited at every person that crossed through the door.

"DADDY" she screamed as she took off toward the baggage claim doors.

I feel tears burn the rims of my eyes, as the little girl flings her arms around his neck and his wife wraps herself around him.

Oh yeah, awkward doesn't even cut this "situation" I've gone and got myself in.

I take a deep breath and shift my weight from one leg to the other. Glancing at my watch, I sigh. 3:45 – surely he should have been through security and everything by now.

Maybe he changed his mind?

I decide that I'll wait another 5 minutes, until I head toward the exit.

My eyes are glued to the double doors, and I become uncomfortably aware of how empty the arrivals lounge now seems to be.

I glance down at my watch. 3.49 – one minute left.

I close my eyes in attempts to stop the tears from falling. He didn't come.

I turn, taking a deep breath and head for the exit, tears threatening to fall...

"Lindsay?"

I stop. My heart has now apparently taken residence in my throat. I turn slowly, tears cascading down my face as I turn to look at him.

Blinking, I wait for his reaction. We both stand there for what seems like hours eyes locked with the others.

He drops his bag, and rushes towards me. It takes a few seconds to register, but once it does, I mirror his actions and drop my purse, and run towards him.

Neither of us slows as we approach the other. I find myself wrapped in his arms, him holding me tight.

I grip tighter to him, and he uses both hands to pick me up supporting my weight with his strong arms, and I wrap my legs around his waist.

"I wont give up on us, Lindsay."

"I thought you weren't going to come back, that maybe you changed your mind" I sob into his strong chest

"I told you, Linds. It wasn't a goodbye, it was see you later" He says as he kisses me lightly. "I could never leave you. Not even if I wanted to. I love you too much"

My eyes widened "You what?"

"I've loved you all along."

A single tear rolls down my face and he wipes it away with the pad of his thumb.

"I'm sorry I left Lindsay," he said as he set me down lightly, and took my hand "I needed time."

"I know, and I get that."

"I think we need to talk, like really need to talk"

"I know just the place"

--

--

_**oops. So i kinda forgot about this story, for a second or two... So here's the filler chap, and i mean, who doesnt love an airport scene, right :). Thanks to all those who read and reviewed last chapter. **_


	5. Chapter 5

**_Continuation from last chapter - enjoy guys :D_**

_"Step one, you say we need to talk, he walks._

_You say sit down; it's just a talk._

_He smiles politely back at you; you stare politely right on through._

_Some sort of window to your right, as he goes left and you stay right._

_Between the lines, of fear and blame that you begin to wonder why you came._

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend,_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness._

_And I would have stayed up, with you all night,_

_Had I known, how to save a life._

_The Fray – How To Save A Life._

I sigh as he squeezes my hand, as we walk down a covered area of trees in Central Park

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine" I smile.

"Tell the truth," he said simply, staring me down.

_He knows me too well_. "I feel like some of this is my fault." I say, honestly. I take a deep breath, knowing that I'm about to admit something out loud I have barely thought about myself.

"What? Why?"

"If I hadn't of called you to see how it had gone, getting his bike blessed, he wouldn't have been out of your sight, because you wouldn't have been talking to me and fiddling with your phone."

"Lindsay, how long have you been thinking this?"

"Ever since you left. I kinda pushed it out of my mind beforehand. I thought you might have been blaming me a little. And I didn't want you to, I just-"

"Lindsay, the only person that is responsible for Ruben's death is Lucy Scott. Not me, or you, or Ollie Barnes. Lucy pulled that trigger. It was an unfortunate accident,"

"I know, but I just felt like-"

"Well, you might have felt like it's your fault, but I'm telling you now, it wasn't. Alright? It wasn't either of our faults."

"I know, but-"

"There ain't no but about it, Montana."

I sigh and walk forward a little, letting go of his hand. I don't think I had prepared myself for such a talk.

Within seconds, I can feel him taking my hand, stopping, tugging my hand, and pulling me back. "Dance with me, Lindsay"

"Danny, there's no music" I laugh, "I'm not dancing with no music."

"That didn't stop you last time, you don't need music to dance. We can make our own"

I sigh and wrap my arms around his neck. We sway gently in sync with the other. I rest my head against his chest and bite back a sob. "Why is nothing ever easy for us, why is everything always a upward struggle?"

"They never said it would be easy Linds, but I can promise you it'll be worth it."

"You stole that from a bumper sticker on facebook." I smirk as I prod him in the love handles.

"I might have." He said as he kissed the top of my head "things go wrong Linds, so we can appreciate them when they're right."

"Again, another bumper sticker." I chuckled.

"Okay, so you need to get out more, like seriously, the obsession you have with them is unhealthy" He laughed, "but honestly Linds, if everything was plain sailing, then sure, we would have been happy, but for how long?"

"I'm missing your point" I sigh, still swaying, letting him lead, "what's wrong with being happy?"

"It's routine, we aren't routine. There's always been something to mess us up. There's constantly a spanner in the works, and we always get over it. Both together and separately. It's what makes us, us."

"So you're saying that without bumps, we wouldn't be who we are?"

"Not in so many words. If we suffer and deal with things, it makes us stronger, it makes us realise how much we want to be with the other. Not just because we're happy, but because we love and need the other."

"You've been doing a lot of thinking, haven't you?" I ask, head resting on the crook of his neck, I take a deep breath and inhale his scent. Even though we haven't been together in what seems like, forever. Nothing's changed. We're still Danny and Lindsay.

"I've missed you putting your head there." He said softly as he placed a kiss to my temple. "I've felt like something was missing these past few months,"

I nod silently against his body. Afraid that emotions will take over and words will fail me.

"I'm not good at this type of thing," I whisper against his neck. "I want to be, but I'm not."

"How can anyone be good at grieving, Montana? We've both proven we pretty much suck at it. I've never expected you to help me. But I knew you were there for me, just like I hope you know that I was there for you, when you needed me"

"You didn't let me help you," I cry as I beat against his chest – "You didn't come to me. You pushed me away."

"I was selfish, in my grief I didn't see anything other than me, and ways in which to make me feel better, rid myself of the pain. I didn't think about how I was destroying you."

"You destroyed us," I cry as he wiped the falling tears away

"I know I did. I ruined everything we had worked for. I might not have loved you in the past like you've deserved, and I have probably been the reason why you've cried one too many tears"

I glance down as a tear falls down my cheek and hits the floor.

"But I'll take what's wrong and make it right, if you'll give me the chance. I want to earn everything back that I lost."

I take a deep breath. My eyes are stinging from crying so much. "I still love you," I say simply, looking up at him "I want it to be like how it used to be."

"So do I, Montana. So do I."

"I've missed that" I sigh as he takes my hand and leads us further into the park.

"Missed what"

"My nickname. It was something only we shared. Everyone calls me Linds, or Monroe. Only you called me Montana."

"I've missed calling you it. I had to stop myself a few times. I didn't feel like I had the right."

I grip a little tighter to his hand as a chill rips through my small jacket.

"You cold?"

"No" I smirk, voice unconvincing, and then I laugh as he cocks his eyebrows "Okay, freezing"

"You should have said" he laughs as he takes his leather jacket off and drapes it over my shoulders "put it on properly, you'll catch your death out here. It's freezing."

"Says you in a green t-shirt. Practice what you preach, Messer." I grin as he playfully punches my arm. "In all seriousness, thanks, for the jacket"

"Don't mention it," he smiles as he wraps his arm around me, and pulls me close. "Looks like it's going to rain," he commented.

"Forecasted it earlier in the week" I shrug. "Wouldn't be a first to rain in February" I add, grinning.

"It's your birthday in like two weeks, isn't it? March 12th?"

"You know when my birthday is?"

"Linds, you were my girlfriend, of course I know."

"Why'd you forget last year then?" I ask, eyes parallel to the floor, tone a little harsh.

"I was an asshole last year. I was in a dark place, and didn't appreciate what was right in front of me."

I shrug. "All you had to do was open your eyes"

"Maybe so. Doesn't change what happened though."

"Rich coming from you, don't you think? Shouldn't I be saying something along the lines of that?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" he spat, letting go of my hand and stopping abruptly.

"What does it sound like?" I ask, "It sounds exactly how it is. You make it sound like it's my fault or something. I didn't sleep with someone else"

"You figured it out?" he said in an almost whisper. It was more of a statement rather than a question.

"Well, you weren't about to tell me, were you?"

"I wanted to, believe me, I did. But I felt like I let you down."

"Oh yeah, let me down?" I close my eyes and take a breath "I'm sorry. You don't deserve to have to deal with me being angry. You've had it tough and I'm sure you've beaten yourself up about it enough, and I guess it just hurts still, especially about how much I was thinking about how I could help you, how I could get over my issues to help you with yours," I shrug as I walk ahead in front, every intention in the world to just walk away from him. "I thought I meant more to you"

The sound of thunder breaks the silence between us, and I hear him call out to me "Don't go, Linds, come on. Stay, please, come on. Just stay"

I stop, still facing away from him, and I close my eyes. Another clap of thunder sounds and suddenly, the heavens open and we both stand there, soaking up the rain.

"Lindsay," he calls to me over the loud sound of the rain "I love you."

I turn slowly, and take a deep breath "Do you mean that?"

"With all my heart. I love you, Lindsay. Please Linds, don't make this goodbye."

"It was never goodbye Danny" I say as I walk towards him "It was never, ever goodbye" I yell over the loud claps of thunder and rain. "Not for me, it wasn't."

I rush over to him, and he pulls me into an embrace, for a second, I feel as though he's gonna kiss me, but instead, he wipes the tear that was slowly moving down my cheek, and takes a deep breath, "Don't leave me, Lindsay. I need you." He whispers as he rests his forehead against mine. "I love you."

"I wish I didn't love you. It would make everything so much easier" I sigh as I let my lips hover over his. "But I wouldn't be the person I am today if I didn't love you."

"We're gonna do it right this time, no more messing around." He says, "Because I swear to you Linds, I'm not letting you go again. I'm not gonna be the person that screws us up again. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get my shit together"

"I forgive you for taking your sweet, freaking, time" I smile as he flicks me in my arm. "Ow"

"Wiseass." He smirks as he kisses my forehead. "Can I ask you something?"

"Mhmm." I nod. "What?"

"What is this?" he gestured between us both.

"What do you want this to be?" I ask,

"I want this to be us."

"So do I." I nod in agreement. "But I have something I need to say, first."

He nodded, silently. I think it was because he was afraid of either what I was going to say, or his own voice failing him.

"I want to – I need to-," I say before taking a deep breath, once I say this, there's no going back. "I'm just trying to find the right words"

"Take your time" he smiled as he pulls me close "You're freezing." He commented.

"I'll live" I say, not wanting to get off topic "I need to say this, so shuddup" I smile as I stick my tongue out at him "I want to forget what's happened in the past."

His eyes bulged "Linds, don't you-"

"Let me finish. I think we have both messed up, royally, in the past three years. You forgave me when I pushed you away, and now I'm forgiving you."

"Linds, what you did was nothing compared to-"

"Danny. Shut up and listen, alright?" I scolded as my teeth chattered. "We have made mistakes; some worse than others. I'm not gonna help my case here with the obsession with bumper stickers, but we don't forgive people because we're weak – we forgive people because we know that people make mistakes. And – I want to forget what happened. I've lost too much in my life to lose you aswell."

I could tell he was trying to keep on top of his emotions "Lindsay, are you sure you're willing to forgive me, just like that. I hurt you, I did something terrible. You should be kicking my ass right now."

"Yeah, you're right. I should" I nod "But I know what it feels like to want to do anything to get that pain to go away - Granted I never went as far as you, but I had my moments. I was just lucky I was headstrong, and I knew that they would have wanted me to pick my butt up and carry on with my life, it wasn't my fault why that monster came in, and took them away from me. Just like how it wasn't your fault with Ruben was taken away from you and Rikki."

"Who's 'they', Linds, your friends?"

"My friends" I say, quietly. "I don't want to lose you like I lost them, Danny. I don't want to keep screwing this up. I – I"

Finally, from all of this happening, and him leaving, I actually break down, and let the tears properly fall, while he holds me. Not holding anything back – raw emotion spilling out of me. All for him to witness.

"Let it out, baby."

I stand there, sobbing into his chest as he holds me and rubs my back in circular motions, soothingly.

I clutch onto his chest, "I don't want to have to say goodbye again, Danny. I don't think I would be able to say it again."

"I promise, I wont make you say it again. I swear. Here." He smiled as he handed me an envelope.

"What's this?"

"Well, it's actually tickets to-"

"The Empires game?" I ask as I open the envelope

"Well, I know last season we wanted to go to the final against the Mighty Montanan's"

I chuckle "You're still getting a kick out of that?"

"Mighty Montanan's come on Linds, it's hilarious!"

"Yeah well there's one Montanan right here, ready to kick your ass" I chuckle as he wraps his arms around me from behind and nuzzles into my neck

"Like to see you try, Montana." He whispers against my neck, sending shivers down my spine. "So you'll come?" He asks as he presses a gentle kiss to my shoulder as I try to walk forward, him hanging all over me...

"I'd love to" I smile as I reach for his hand, and pull him to my side. "I'm cold, get me out of the rain"

"It would be my pleasure, Ms. Monroe"

--

--

**_So, as far as i know, this will have two more chapters._** **_Me thinks... But then again, i thought it was a oneshot. So who knows. _**

**_R&R? It's much appreciated :D_**


	6. Chapter 6

"_And, the longer we talked, the more we laughed  
And wondered why we didn't last  
It had been a long time, but later last night  
Baby, we caught up real fast__"_

_Keith Urban - "You Look Good In My Shirt"_

I glance up at her building and my heart leaps, this is it. I pat my hands over my jacket, to see whether I've got the tickets.

Check.

I take a deep breath and push her buzzer, indicating my arrival.

"Sorry, I have a hot date tonight, come back later Flack."

My heart rate increases for a second, until I hear her giggling on the other end.

"Wiseass- let me up."

I pushed through the door, and made the journey up to the fifth floor. I considered walking to the end of the hallway to wait for the elevator, but that damn thing has a mind of its own. Plus, the five flights of stairs could do me some good.

I take the first three flights two at a time, but then decide that I don't want to knock on her door, and keel over. So, I take my time on the last two.

After all, I ain't as fit as what I used to be.

My hand hovers over the door, poised and ready to knock. I take a deep breath, and almost laugh at myself at how nervous I am.

It's Lindsay – I tell myself. It's Montana. What the hell am I worried about?

Maybe the fact that she's giving me a second chance, kinda, and I want to do anything but screw this up??

I was just about to knock, when the door swung open "S'a good job I have good sensory skills" she smiled "Usually you have to knock, you know, let the person know you're on the other side,"

"Sorry, just catching my breath." I lie

"Sure, whatever." She smirks, and for the first time since she opened the door, I see her.

"Linds" I gasp, "You look beautiful."

She cocks her eyebrows at me, and smiles crookedly, "I'm wearing jeans, a t-shirt and converse."

"I know, but you – you just look – you're beautiful" I gush. "These are for you," I offer, holding out the small bouquet of daisies I bought for her.

"Aw, Danny. That's so thoughtful, you didn't have to."

"I know but," I shrug "You ready to go?"

"Nearly, come in, just got a few finishing touches," she laughed

I nod, and follow her into the living room. "You decorated?"

She nodded "Yeah, I hated that orange colour. Made my eyes hurt after a 13 hour shift." She chuckled. "Surely you remember how that felt."

"Ha, like that time, we both stumbled in, dead on our feet and-"

She laughed, "Oh god, it burned, didn't it."

"Yeah, and you said-"

"That the first thing we were doing when we bought a place that we'd paint it magnolia or something neutral."

"And I freaked"

"And then I laughed and told you I was joking."

"Yeah," Danny chuckled "we were a pair, weren't we."

"Yeah" Lindsay nodded, smiling at the memory. "Well, I'll just grab my purse, spray some perfume and twirl in the mirror one last time" she smiled as she excused herself into her bedroom

"You're not supposed to tell your-" I stalled, was I supposed to call myself her date?

"What was that?" she called from the bedroom.

"Could I get a drink?" I call,

"Yeah," she laughed at the request "You know where the kitchen is, help yourself."

Lame recovery, I muse to myself, I glance into the fridge, and chuckle at the mouldy vegetables in the bottom – she tried her damn hardest to stay healthy, but take-out always won.

I shut the fridge, and see a picture of her and some guy pinned up with a magnet. I pick the picture up, and my heart drops a little.

She actually looks kinda happy. And the guy, well, he looked like he would worship the ground she stood on.

I turn the picture over, and read what she wrote on the other side, I narrow my eyes at her neat writing, trying to make a crossing out,

_Rick and I at Coney Island._

I glance a little more, squinting so I can see the word underneath the thick pen line and crossing out, just before "Rick's" name.

_Danny_

"You ready to go?"

"Crap" I mutter as I drop the picture. "What? Yeah, yeah sure."

She cranes her neck into the kitchen, and sees the picture on the floor.

"I – I – I'm sorry – I didn't mean" I stammer

"It's fine. I don't mind you looking at it. That's Rick, we went out a few times" she said simply as she picked the picture up.

"Oh" I say simply, I guess I should be happy that she didn't hide it from me.

"You'd like him" she smiled as she unscrewed a bottle of water for me

"I don't know about that, Montana." I laugh, unconvinced as she hands it to me, "Thanks."

"No, believe me, you see eye to eye on a lot of things." She laughed, almost as if it was an inside joke, as she pinned the picture back up and trace a finger over their faces.

"I'll take your word for it, I guess." I smile, trying to control my jealousy.

Not that I have any right to be jealous.

"What time does the game start?"

"45 minutes" I say, "Thought we could-"

"You mind if we walk, it's nice out tonight."

"Sure" I nod, "Would love to"

She turns the lights off in the apartment, and turned on her small lamp, so that she wasn't stumbling around falling over things when she ended up coming back, when I dropped her off. It was a ritual, our tradition and routine...

I stood on the other side of the door as she locked up, and I stood to one side, giving her enough room

"Got the tickets?" she asked as she flung her purse over her shoulder.

"Yup" I nod as I move forward slightly,

"Wait" she said, urgently, as she touched my arm "Before we go" she stood on her tiptoes and placed a kiss to my cheek "I'm glad you're home," She said simply before she walked down the hallway.

For a second, I touch my cheek, and close my eyes, "I'm glad to be back" I say quietly as I jog down the hall to catch up with her

--

--

"Harris is not worth that much, Dan," she laughed as she walked, arms touching down the street leading to the game.

"He so is!" I muse, "Who the hell would you have on your team then? Clarkson?"

"No" she laughed at the very idea, "Branch – he's awesome, can make a 2-pointer from like, well you've watched him play"

"You just like him cause he's hot."

"And what?" she laughed as our fingers graze the others. The breath hitches in my throat, and she takes a deep breath. "I have good taste" she finishes

"Yeah, I guess you do." I shrug.

"Bighead" she mutters

"What?"

"You 'oh, I guess so'" she mimics in a 'manly' voice.

"I do not sound like that"

She laughs and walks ahead of me slightly, "Come on cowboy."

I shake my head and pick up the pace.

--

--

"Tickets?"

"I got 'em." I mutter to the teen wanting our tickets as I rummage through my jacket pocket.

"Thanks" he squeaks as he sees my NYPD badge, hooked to my belt loop.

"You wore that?" Lindsay laughed as she walked through the entrance.

"Last time, some guy got murdered, just taking precautions," I laugh

"You hang with Flack too much" she comments as she makes her way over to the refreshments stand,

"I don't" I mutter, "Well, I do, but I don't."

"Save it" she chuckles. "What do you want, my treat" she smiles

"No, Linds, I asked you here, let me buy."

"Nah, you got the tickets, what do you want?"

"Linds,"

"I'll order for you," she mock warned

"Linds," I whine, "Let me buy"

She stuck her tongue out and moved to the front "Can I have that couple deal thing? What do you get in it, -"

My eyes widen. She called us a couple.

"Danny." She laughs, shaking my arm "what drink?"

"Diet Coke" I say, in habit – knowing that's what she'd get anyway

"I've trained you well" she smiles as she wraps her arm around my waist. Instantly I pull her into my side and plant a kiss to her temple – letting a grin take over my whole face

"First date?" the girl smiles at Lindsay who handed her the drink

Lindsay chuckled "Second first date."

The girl nodded in understanding. "Have fun, who you rooting for?"

"New York – Montana" we say together

"New York?" I ask, cocking my eyebrows at her

"Montana?" she laughs, "You're rooting for Montana?" she laughs, putting emphasis on Montana.

"Hell yeah," I grin as I pick up the popcorn "I need to thank them somehow,"

"Thank you" she smiled at the girl before turning towards me "You're sappy." She smirked as she took a sip of the monster sized diet coke

"How much did that rob you?" I ask

"Just ten." She shrugs. "Figured it'd last us."

"Ever the practical one" I tease

"Shut up, what row is it?"

"41 and 42 C"

She nodded at me, and walked close, lips still attached to the straw. "You planning on saving me some?" I laugh as her arm links through mine.

"Maybe" she grins sheepishly. "We'll see," she says as her hand slowly moves down my arm, and connects with my hand and holds it tightly.

A bubbling sensation moves throughout my entire body as she glances up and smiles at me.

Why was I so nervous?

--

--

"You have to be kidding me," she practically screamed as she threw popcorn at the row in front of us "What the hell was that"

"It was your beloved New York getting pulverised by Montana"

"What they hell are they doing?" she spat as she sat back down "do they want me explain the game?"

I chuckle and run my hand over her's in a soothing motion "breathe, Montana."

"Easy for you to say, you don't have a fifty riding on this game."

"I do, I'm just gonna win"

"Time to turn it around, yet."

"We'll see" I smirk. "You need to stop by an ATM on the way home, pay up?"

"I might just take it off of your debt" she smirked as she took a handful of popcorn

"Huh? What debt?"

"You know, the Benjamin, I never saw?" she teased

"I paid you back for that. I had to resurface the pool table before Flack came round, he would have known."

"Yeah, not my problem you couldn't control yourself."

"Excuse me, I was too busy coming up with something better, as you put it. But, to be honest, I think you already knew what you wanted."

She shook her head as the whistle sounded half time, and the dorky half time music was blasted throughout the stadium.

"God, I hope they don't do that kissing thing, you know like on How to lose a guy-" Her eyes widened, "Dan," she laughed as she pointed towards the scoreboard

There we were, in the middle of a love heart, with all of the people around us, encouraging me to kiss her.

By this time, she had gone tomato red, and looking solely at me, adverting her eyes with anyone, or anything else.

I smile and lean over to kiss her lightly on the cheek, deciding that our second first kiss isn't going to be in front of 3,000 or so drunken basketball fans.

She chuckles, and let out a breath as the board moves onto another unsuspecting couple.

"Typical" she mused, "I spoke too soon"

"Apparently" I laugh as I lean over her to grab the diet coke, and she kisses me lightly on the cheek. A smile creeps across my face, and I turn to look at her, inches from her face. I can see her take a deep breath, and lick her lips, instead I kiss her forehead, and then take a sip of the diet coke, leaving her slightly deflated, I think.

"You back at work tomorrow?" she asks

"Yeah, first day back. What time you start?"

"Ten" she says simply

"Same, I could swing by and pick you up, save you from getting the subway"

"You sure, it's out of the way"

"I used to do it everyday, regardless of what shift I was on. It's fine Linds, pick you up about 9, we could go for breakfast," I smile "Unless you have plans, or you don't-"

"Nine's perfect." She smiles as she takes one of my hands.

--

--

"So, where's the nearest cash machine?" she asked as we slowly walked up the crowded stairs

"No need to gloat, alright. It was a lucky last quarter for them."

"Nah" she insisted, shaking her head. "We're too awesome. Serves you right, for turning your back on your home-"

"Home what, Linds?" I tease "Home state?"

"Shut up." She smirked "I won, it's cause I rock."

"You always win. Where'd you go anyway, during the 3rd quarter break? You go and bitch at them for playing like girls?"

"Yeah, I kicked their asses."

"Thought so," I smirk, as I take her hand, and pull her close.

She glanced up at me, with a questioning look in her eyes, probably wondering why after all night, I've finally taken her hand, without her initiating it.

"Gotta keep you close" I say simply as she smiles and nods. "I don't wanna lose you."

"Why do I sense a double meaning there, Messer?" she smiled up at me…

"Can't get anything past you, can I?" I sigh as he kiss her loose curls, come on, we're holding up about 50 million pissed off Montana fans."

She shook her head as she gripped a little tighter to my hand. "Whatever you say, loser."

--

--

I glanced down at her, tucked neatly around my arm that was draped over her shoulder in a huge oversized NYC Empires jersey we decided I would buy for her instead of paying up the 50 dollars.

"You look cute" I muse, "Huge oversized jackets are quite your style"

She rolled her eyes and giggled as she took my hand that was draped on her shoulder.

"I've had fun tonight"

"Me too," I smile "I've missed you."

"Me too, Rick was nice, but well -"

"Well what?" I ask, curious as to where she was going with this.

"He wasn't you. He didn't tease me."

"That something you look for in a guy, Montana."

"Not particularly," she laughed as she pinched my love handles, "It's more of a just one guy in particular kind of thing. I compare everyone to him," She says, before smiling at me, and looking back down at the sidewalk.

We walk a few blocks in companionable silence, just enjoying the other's warmth and the closeness between us, until we turn the corner, and are stood outside her apartment building.

"This is you, then?" I sigh, not wanting the night to end,

"Yeah, guess so." She nodded "Thanks for tonight, Danny, I had a really good time,"

"Me too" I nod as I pull her into a hug "I've missed you, more than I can say"

She smiled, and kissed me lightly on the cheek "Well then" she sighed hesitantly "Goodnight"

"G'night Linds, sweet dreams." I smile as she turns to head up the stairs.

She turns back to smile sweetly at me, before disappearing into her apartment building.

Instantly, my heart drops. I should have kissed her then. She wanted me to hold her, and make everything better – she wanted me to tell her that everything would be okay from now on.

And I didn't.

I sigh and run a hand down my face. A kiss isn't going to fix one anything. Who am I actually trying to fool? The last thing she probably needs is me kissing her.

I close my eyes for a second, getting lost in the blares and sirens coming from the main roads a few blocks over.

And, for a second, I forget what's happened.

"Why didn't you kiss me?"

My eyes shoot open and I turn quickly,

"Linds?"

"Why didn't you kiss me?"

"I – I-"

"Why? Why didn't you?"

"Because" I start, but soon realise I have nothing "I don't know."

Nodding, she turned back into her apartment building, taking deep breaths, close to tears. Even with her back to me, I can tell.

I race up the stairs after her, lightly grip her shoulder, and spin her round.

Her eyes widen as I pull her towards me, and wrap my arms protectively around her waist, and kiss her lightly on her lips. One hand moves to her neck, and I pull her close, and rest my forehead against her's.

She moves her small hand to touch her lips, and touches them for what seems like forever, her eyes sparkling. I pull away, only for her to pull me towards her.

Her lips crash down onto mine, and she stumbles forward slightly, pinning me against the wall, not that I mind.

My hand snakes up her side, making her shiver under my touch until I reach the back of her neck, and cup it lightly, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss.

We stand like that, as if it's just the two of us in the whole of New York, without a care in the world, for god only knows how long, until she finally pulls away and rests her forehead against mine.

"Don't ever leave me again, Danny."

"I'm not going anywhere," I say as I trace circles into her back. "I promise"

She couldn't help the smile that was creeping across her face; "Well I guess it really is goodnight, now"

"I'll see you in the morning" I smile as I gently kiss her lips and she slowly turns around away from me, to head into her apartment building. "Lindsay," I say, to get her attention. "I love you."

I see her chest contract a little; as if she's holding a breath, or cant breathe. "Montana?"

"Sorry, I just - you caught me off guard." She says, blinking.

"You okay?"

Nodding, she smiled as she moved away from me "You have no idea. G'night Danny"

I stand and watch her press the elevator button, and wait for her to turn to smile and wave goodbye, and I waved back, smiling.

Turning back in the direction we had just come from, I head to the subway station, and catch one of the last trains home, feeling a lot more hopeful about our future than what I had on my way here.

I walk for a few minutes, mind fully 100 percent focused on Lindsay, and revel in the happy, good natured mood her instincts of coming back outside has put me in.

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, and flip the phone open.

I smile at the sender, and open the message.

_I had a lovely time tonight, D. I've really missed you. I love you too. M. x_

I take a deep breath as I turn into the station, still looking at the message.

Knowing that tomorrow was just another day – another day closer to being back to where we used to be.

**_R&R? As always, it's much appreicated :D_**


	7. Chapter 7

"_Can you search down inside, let go of your pride._

_Forget trying to win, just let you in._

_I didn't travel this far; to watch it all fall apart,_

_So give me your hand, and take a chance._

_I know rocks turn to sand,_

_And hearts can change hands, _

_And you're not the blame, when the sky fills with rain,_

_But if we stay or walk away, there's one thing that's true._

_I still love you, I still love you."_

_-Alexz Johnson – "I Still Love You"_

"Your carriage awaits you, fair maiden" I chuckle down the intercom.

"Moron" I can hear her giggling, "I'll be right down"

I back away from her door, and walk over to the department issued pick-up. I sigh as I rest against the driver's side door.

I glance down at myself, foot propped up against the door, arms folded, grin across my face, aftershave smells dancing around my nose.

I look like I'm here to pick her up for a freaking date.

I change my position slightly as she walks through her building door.

Turning, she looks at me and narrows her eyebrows, and laughs lightly as she locks the door.

"What?"

"Nothing" she laughs as she shakes her head and moves towards me "You just like you're stood there waiting to pick me up for a date or something." She smiles as she kisses my cheek lightly. "Morning"

"Morning" I smile as I too kiss her on the cheek. "Now, get in the car, wiseass, I'm starving."

She rolls her eyes as she walks over to the passenger side "And I bet you had something before you left."

"Damn right," I grin, "Now, where bout's you taking me?"

"I'm paying?" she mock gasps.

"I'm paying for gas. With the extortionate prices nowadays, I'm economy driving."

"Literally." She chuckled as she buckled herself in, "Fancy going to Fred's. Haven't been there in a while. He'll think we dropped off the face of the earth or something."

"Fred's it is" I smile as I indicate and attempt to get back into the flow of traffic.

I glance over at her, smiling slightly as she changed my radio station, and then turned to grin at me,

"Don't push your luck, country girl."

--

--

"Hungry Linds?" I laugh sarcastically as the waitress walks away to place our order

"Starving" she chuckled "And what, I'm only getting pancakes, look at what you're getting."

"If you had my metabolism, you'd get the whole breakfast menu too."

"You didn't get the whole breakfast menu, Danny. Slight exaggeration"

"So."

"And, I do have quick metabolism, I just enjoy playing tennis."

"No, you enjoy whipping my ass at it," I sigh as I pour us both some coffee.

"Maybe" she shrugged. "And I can ski like nobody's business. So, I mean really, you might have a better metabolism, but I'm in better shape it'll catch up with you, I mean you already have them love handles-"

"Sticks and stones, Montana." I smile "Sticks and stones"

--

--

I look at her contently, as she fiddles with the sleeve of her cuff, a nervous habit she's had since, forever.

Wait a second - Nervous? My eyes narrow, and I see tears in her eyes.

"Linds, everything okay?"

"Yeah" she smiles, unconvincingly.

"You sure, you look a little-"

"Danny, I'm fine" she assures me.

"Well, you know I'm here," I say as I pick my fork back up and scoop some scrambled eggs into my mouth.

She nodded and cut a piece off her stack of pancakes, and raised her fork to her mouth, then dropped it back down to her plate again.

"Are you the Danny I fell in love with?"

I try to speak, but realise my mouth is full of egg. I swallow quickly, and then nearly choke from the food going down the wrong hole.

"Awesome timing, Montana" I cough as I swallow down some of her orange juice.

"Sorry – I just – are you?"

"Am I what?"

"The person I used to love."

"Well, what do you think, honey?"

"I don't know, I honestly don't know" she shrugs. "You tell me."

"Well, I don't think I'm the same person, I'm different. But I think it's good different, I'm the Danny that still loves you, if that counts for anything."

"You're also the Danny that cheated on Me." she said, quietly.

"True, and I don't have an excuse, or anything to say, other than sorry. Because I am Lindsay, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you and lie to you."

"You didn't lie to me, you just didn't tell me."

"Which made it worse" I finish.

"Exactly." She said, voice full of hurt. "What's different?"

"With me?" I ask, and she nods her head "I'm not sure, I just am. I've realised how much you mean to me."

"What would you do if I walked away?"

"Run after you," I state, as she looks at me for the almost immediate answer I gave her, almost as if I had already thought about it "and tell you we haven't come all this way to let it all go, and that I love you. And, if you still wanted to walk away, I would let you go, as long as you were happy, and that's what you wanted, that would be all that mattered. Your happiness. And I would just make sure that you knew that I still loved you, and I always would, no matter what."

"And you'd just let me go, just like that?"

"If I knew that was what you really, honestly wanted, then yeah. I hurt you – I'm lucky you're considering giving me a second chance."

"Even though, you'd still love me?"

"If you weren't happy with me, I would have no right to keep you here with me. I'll always love you though, Lindsay. You're my first real-"

"Girlfriend?" she asks

"No" I smile "You're my first real love."

She blushes and swallows. "I wasn't expecting that."

"It's true. I love you, Lindsay. And I'd do anything for you. Even if it meant letting you go."

She nodded and turned back to her pancakes, and we carried on eating in silence.

"So you know" she said quietly, looking down at her pancakes, before turning up to look at me, "I'd never walk away."

"That makes two of us" I smile as I take her hand from across the table, and kiss it lightly.

--

--

I took a deep breath as I killed the engine, and got out, silently. I knew damn well I should be talking to her, telling her how scared I was.

And yet, I was silent. Typical.

"It's okay to be nervous you know," she smiled as she rounded the back of the SUV and reached for her kit, "When I came home from Montana, I was terrified."

"Why?" I ask, slightly amused.

"It was silly, but I thought that with me gone…." She shrugged

"What, you thought we'd realise how much you actually suck, and we can't stand you." I smirk as she throws a pair of gloves at me across the back seats.

"Talk about dramatising things, Danny. I don't know, this – it's just you."

"What is?" I muse "The crime lab?"

"Yeah" she nodded "the crime lab"

"You're talking out of your butt, Montana."

"Wiseass," she smirks "Mac's gonna wonder where we are."

"I don't see no snow – think we're okay. We haven't pulled a switch or a snow day or _anything_ like that since that drug bust last May, and it's only 10 to 10. We're early yet."

"Haha, you're a riot, Danny." She smirked as she pushed the "up" button on the elevator,

"You know how you felt like on your first day back at school, excited to see everyone, but scared to go into a higher grade, not knowing what to expect and stuff"

"Yeah, I know what you mean" she nodded along with me in agreement. "Fear of the unknown"

"Exactly." I nod as the elevator reaches the parking garage.

I hold my arm out, hinting for her to head in before me, as I grab my kit and set it next to me.

We stand in silence for a few minutes as the elevator stops off on various floors, picking people up and dropping them off.

Finally, we're on our own for the last 5 or so floors. And I take a deep breath. "Ok, really scared now." I muse, knowing it sounds nothing like me…

"Dan" she smiled warmly "You've got nothin' to worry about, I'm right here," she reassured me as she rubbed my hand, "I'll be there through it all," as she moved her hand away from me.

I nod silently, deciding that she's too far away, and switch hands with my case.

"That isn't good enough," I say as I move towards her "I want you here," I say as I take her hand and hold it tight. "I don't want to let you go, Linds."

Lindsay glanced down at our hands wrapped in the others, tightly and smiled. She edged closer towards me, leaned up on her tiptoes, and kissed my cheek. Before moving away slightly, but still holding onto my hand,

The elevator stops, and waits a few seconds before opening the door. The butterflies and anticipation I was feeling before, was worse now. I took a step forward, and felt Lindsay squeeze my hand lightly.

Glancing down, I smile as we head off the elevator together. I take a deep breath, and realise the butterflies, and terror has instantly dissolved with the simple squeeze of her hand.

I pull her close towards me as we head towards the locker room together, and place a kiss to her temple.

She rests her head on my shoulder for a second as we carry onto the locker room – not even caring the whole crime lab was looking on in amazement.

--

--

Lindsay glanced down as she folded up her coat and placed it in her locker neatly, and smiled. "Did you see them staring?"

I can't help but laugh, "I'm surprised they didn't fall off their chairs,"

"I guess they didn't expect-"

"Daniel Messer?"

I grimace as I hear Stella's heels enter the locker room. "Over here Stell." Lindsay smiles in my direction

"So, the rumours are true, you're back?"

"No, I'm not really here. You didn't see me," I laugh. "Didn't Mac tell you?"

"None of my business. We've missed you, Danny." Stella smiles as she pulls me into a hug and then holds me at an arm's length and stares at me.

"I've missed you too, Stell."

Stella nodded and smiled, knowingly at me the moved closer, so her lips were right by my ear. "You've got something resembling the colour of Lindsay's lip-gloss on your cheek"

I can instantly feel myself blush as my hand moves to my cheek to wipe away the gloss.

"Other cheek, Danny" Lindsay smiles as she moved towards Stella and me.

"I guess I'll see you two in the staff meeting then," Stella smiled "Ten minutes, don't be late. I'll send out a search party like I did last time" she chuckled.

"Alright, alright," I sigh "Take it on the road"

"I am" Stella smiled "Good to see you, Dan."

I smile politely then turn to Lindsay as the door shuts.

"You didn't tell her, did you?"

Lindsay closes her eyes sadly, and shakes her head "I couldn't - she has no idea. No-one does."

"Why?"

"I didn't think that it had anything to do with them. They might be your friends, but they're also your co-workers, when it comes to something that personal, you just don't tell them. No matter how upset I was, I wouldn't have done that to you."

"Lindsay, who did you talk to when I was gone about it all?"

"Rick." She said simply "And even he sided with you." She smiled as she pulled me into a hug and rested her head on my chest. "I didn't have anyone else that didn't know us both, and wouldn't judge you."

I hug her tightly for a minute, before I let go of her with one hand, and hook one of my fingers under her chin, and slowly, raise her head, so we're level.

I lean forward and kiss her lips lightly, as my hand that I had let go of her with, wraps tightly around her small waist.

I feel her let out a small breath, and my hands trace up and down her back in a soothing motion.

"You're welcome." She says, and I smile.

"I think you know me a little too well,"

She chuckled and slugged me in the arm "We better go before that said search party comes looking for us."

I laugh at the memory of Adam turning on the broom closet light with us stood there, in a little "moment" then him apologising, turning the light off, shutting the door, and screaming to the rest of the lab not to go into the broom closet, because there were two rats, loud enough for us to hear him.

And we wondered the week after why there were locks on the broom cupboards after that…

"Earth to Danny? You ready to go?" she laughs as she tugs on my arm

"Now or never" I smile as I let her lead me through the door.

--

--

She lets go of my hand as we leave the locker room, and I instantly take it back, and hold it tight.

She takes a deep breath as we move towards the conference room, where, as a team, we have spent hours and hours, in briefings, analysing evidence that didn't make sense, or just having a brain storming session.

We glance up from our own thoughts, and see the room full with the team, and I head in after Lindsay – our hands still joined together.

"And I would also like the opportunity to welcome Danny back."

"Hey boss." I smile as I let go of Lindsay's hand and my hand goes straight to the small of her back, and lead her through the room, as we move to our assigned seats, next to each other.

"As I was saying-" Mac smiled as we both sat down and took the other's hand again "We need a break-"

I chuckle and stand up "Sorry, think I got the wrong room. Come on Montana, let's find Mac Taylor."

"Sit down, wiseass." Mac laughed, "See, the department is holding a small valentines celebration."

"Talk about cliché, what have they been watching, cop shops that try to divulge into the team's personal lives?" Flack teased

"Ulterior motive, I'm guessing, they claim it's because they didn't give us much time off to celebrate Christmas"

"And Valentines Day makes up for it?" Lindsay laughs with raised eyebrows.

"Apparently." Mac shrugged "If you're interested, jot your name down."

I roll my eyes as Mac moves towards the door "You are actually being serious Mac, aren't you?"

"Deadly."

"We not having a team brief?" Stella inquired

"Stella paperwork, Lindsay and Hawkes you're still on the midtown case, Danny you come sign your return to work form, then Lindsay and Sheldon can brief you on their findings and you can work trace." Mac said in one breath

"Well, nothing's changed" I muse as Lindsay passes me the piece of paper with both of our names on already. "Cheers Linds," I smirk as she stands up, seeing that she had signed both our names, with love hearts over the "I"s. "Since when have you called me Daniel, Linds?"

She winked at me, and caught up with Sheldon as he headed for trace. I could see her smiling and laughing – just like how she used to.

Flack pats me on the back as he quickly leaves the room, leaving just Stella and me, alone.

"Go on" I sigh, "What did you really want to say to me before?"

Stella pursed her lips together and bit the inside of her cheek, "I didn't want to make a scene before" she said simply, as she flicked through the case file that sat in front of her.

"In front of Linds?"

"Yeah, in front of Linds. How Danny? How could you do that to her?"

"I don't want to talk about it-"

"Funny, same response I got off Linds," Stella mused, still not looking up at me.

"She didn't know," I said, looking down.

"You know Dan, I'm not going to yell at you, or say how stupid you are, or tell you how much of a mistake you made, because I'm sure you know"

"More than you know- how do you know though?"

"That's irrelevant, but what I will say, is that for Lindsay to forgive you, and act like how she is, in front of us, like nothings wrong, so that we don't kick your ass for treating, not only a member of our team, but a friend, your _girlfriend_ how you did – you have one serious gem there, she's a true Montanan treasure. She's one of a kind, Danny. Because if I had been dating you, and you cheated on me, hell would have to freeze over before I forgave you. Hurt her again Danny, I dare you. She wanted to be there for you- she asked me so many times what she could do to get through to you, turns out-"

"Stell, please stop" I say as I cover my ears. "I know all this, I'm trying to make this up to her, I blamed myself for the longest time, and now I need to move on, and grow up. I can't change what I did Stel, believe me – I would, but I can't."

"There shouldn't have to be anything to change, Danny." She said simply as she got up from her chair.

"Where are you going?"

"I have work to do," she shrugged "you need to go sign that return to work form." She threw over her shoulder

"Stell, come on – talk to me," I sigh as she pushes through the glass door,

"Not right now Danny, I've already said too much. Let me cool down."

"Stell" I sigh as I get up and jog after her, "Come on Stell."

"Don't Danny," she spat as she halted in the busy hallway "just – no."

I sigh heavily as I stand there, alone in a busy hallway. If ever there were a oxymoron.

--

--

"You took your time" Mac smiled, as he pulled a form out from his neat filing system and found a pen.

"Had to talk to a few people." I shrug

"Shut the door, Danny."

"That doesn't sound good," I sigh out loud,

"How was your vacation?" Mac asked as he filled out the necessary fields.

"Fine. It was nice, went to see Louie."

"That's nice" Mac nodded "Did you get in touch with Rikki?"

"You figured it out aswell then?"

"Danny, a gnat could have figured it out. Did you find what you were looking for while you were there?"

"I really did" I say honestly, "I've let a lot of things go, and the things I cant let go, I've learned to live with."

"That's very mature of you, Danny. I'm proud you took it upon yourself. You're a far cry from how you used to be, way back when."

"I'm trying my best" I shrug, "S'all I can do"

"How is Lindsay?" Mac asks as he pushes the form towards me.

"Fine" I smile, unconvincingly.

"Sure," Mac smiled as he took the form from me, "I told you so." He muttered under his breath

I cock my eyebrows and look at him, "What did you just say?"

"You, I told you so."

"Told me what,"

"It could happen to you,"

"Marriage?" I ask, humouring him

"No, love."

I smile, remembering my disgust at the very thought of falling in love. "I really do love her, Mac."

"I know," he smiles as he stands up from his desk "I can see it in your eyes."

"I don't think she believes me though, I hurt her bad."

"Yeah, and it's something you'll spend the rest of your life making up to her for, god willing,"

"It sounds like you know more about this than you're letting on, Mac."

"Sit down" Mac sighed as he patted the seat next to him on the leather couch, "Do you remember Quinn?"

"The detective from New Jersey?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "Before I go any further-"

"This conversation won't leave this room," I assure him

"Danny, I am not in any way condoning this, I just want you to learn from my mistakes."

I nod silently.

"I had a small affair with Quinn, when I was a lot younger. Claire and I – we were going through a rough patch- not that was an excuse – because there aren't any. Quinn was just there, when I couldn't see anything in the darkness"

"She was there when you needed her," I nod. "What did Claire say?"

"Claire never found out."

"You didn't tell her?" I ask, slightly shocked at the mere thought of Mac Taylor keeping a secret from his wife.

"I didn't have the heart – or courage. I'd broken my own ethical code. I would have destroyed the one person that kept me going."

"But didn't it niggle at you everyday?"

"Every second of every day – but if I wanted to protect Claire from the potential heartbreak that it would have caused her, I had to accept that feeling that I would get, reminding me of what I had done."

"Did you regret it?"

"I know they say "don't regret anything, because you meant it at the time" but there hasn't been a day passed where I haven't regretted what I did."

"Mac, why are you telling me this?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure. People aren't perfect, Danny. But we try our damned hardest to make sure the person who is perfect in our eyes is safe from the pain and suffering we cause them."

"She figured it out by herself," I say, "Lindsay, that is."

"I think Claire knew. She's the most intelligent woman I've ever met."

"You still talk about her in the first person." I say, "Like as if she's still here."

"She is" Mac said "In here" he finished as he touched his heart. "She maybe gone physically, but I will never forget her."

I nod silently; feeling a little over-emotional at how much Mac had shared with me.

"I think I need to talk to her," I say in realisation "I mean like, really talk to her."

"Maybe" he nods "In your own time though" he adds quickly.

"Don't worry, I'm here to work, not to sort out my love life." I smirk as I stand up.

"It's good to have you back Danny," Mac smiles as he offers his hand to me.

"Thank you, Mac." I say as I pull him into a hug. "For everything."

He didn't say a word, but the look on his face told me all I needed to know.

There _was_ a light at the end of this long tunnel. And that light, was Lindsay.

--

**_R&R? It's much appreciated :D_**


	8. Chapter 8

**_Howdy folks! Remember this one? lol... Basically, three weeks of annoyance, a million ideas that got scrapped and 10 MS Word pages later, we have the next chapter of GoodBye. Hope it was worth the wait... _**

"_Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms, _

_I've been trying my best to get along, _

_And that's okay, there's nothing left to say but,_

_Take your records; take your freedom._

_Take your memories - I don't need them._

_Take your space and take your reasons,_

_You'll think of me._

_Take your cat, but leave my sweater,_

_Cause we have nothing left to weather, _

_In fact I feel a hell of a lot better, _

_And you'll think of me."_

_- "You'll think of me," Keith Urban_

--

--

He stares at me, as we wait nervously in the elevator to hit my floor. After a gruelling first day back for him, and the 7th day in the row for me, we decided to be crazy and head back to my place after Mac had all but chucked us from the doors of the crime lab.

"How far up is your stupid place, Linds?" he chuckled, "It feels like I spend my life in this elevator."

I roll my eyes as he pulls me into his side. "Is it my fault you stalk me?" I smirk as he bites my shoulder "Ow, come on. How old are you?"

"You would have said the same if I had flicked you, which was what I was going to do."

"Why do anything?"

"Why not," he questioned as turns me slightly, and holds me tightly in front of him.

I shrug, overly aware of how close we are, and the simmering emotions threatening to explode, on my part at least.

He leans closer, inches from my lips, and whisper "Not good enough, I need an answer, Miss Monroe."

I stand up on my tiptoes so that my lips meet his in a soft kiss, which quickly turns into something more. He wraps his arms around my waist and in effect, he lifts me up a little, deepening the kiss. The elevator doors open, signalling my floor, and he carefully walks forward, with my legs wrapped around his waist.

"Linds," he gasps as he pulls away, "I gotta put you down"

"What? Why?"

He glances up towards the ceiling, and then at our surroundings, "We're in the middle of the hallway."

"Oh" I grin sheepishly.

He sets me down next to him, and instantly takes my hand, dragging me practically towards my apartment.

"Someone's in a hurry," I chuckle,

"I don't know about you, but that was something that I kind of want to carry on," he chuckles as he reaches my front door, and then stops. "That's if you want to, of course," he adds quickly.

I take a deep breath as the realisation hits him that we aren't where we used to be, all those months ago. Not a care in the world, just him and me taking each day as it came.

I slowly push my key into the door, turn it, and open the door. All without looking at him. Once the door is ajar, I turn, grab his hand, and pull him into a kiss. It takes him a second to realise that I do in fact want this, and he pushes me into the apartment and kicks the door closed.

He slowly walks forward, one arm holding me close, while his other free hand is fisting through my hair, not losing contact the whole time. It feels right to be with him like this. To feel him again.

I didn't realise we were at my couch, but I was fully aware once he had pushed me, carefully onto it, and lowered himself on top of me, joining our lips together again.

I open my eyes for a brief second, and catch him staring at me. Well, not staring as such, but more like admiring, either way, he's looking at me.

"Everything okay?" I breathe in between kisses.

He nods as he slips his hand underneath my head to support it.

"You sure," I question.

"Positive" he whispers in between kisses, "Just thinking about how much I never want to let you go."

The breath hitches in my throat at what he just said to me, and the honesty in his voice when he said it.

"Good to know," I smile as I pull him back down into the smouldering kiss.

"I love you, you know that right?" He asked as he kissed the tip of my nose

"Yeah" I nod, "I think I do."

He didn't say anything, but the smile taking over his face did. Within seconds, we're back to the juvenile 'making out on the couch' that we had been doing before.

It was like getting to know him all over again. Running my fingers down his arms, lacing my fingers through his hair, him wrapping me in his arms, protectively. I sigh against his lips. As much as I was hurting at what he did to me, and as much as I wanted to be mad at him, I couldn't.

He turned slightly so that we were both facing each other on our sides on my couch, and he rested his head against one of the arms of the chair as he wrapped himself around me, whole kicking his shoes off.

"What have I told you about shoes on the furniture?" I scold as I attempt to kick my own off.

"Just practice what you preach, Montana," he drawls in his thick New York accent.

"I've missed you," I sigh as I snuggle up to him, and kiss his jaw.

"I know," he sighs as he shifts slightly, so he's laid on his back. "I've missed you more than you could ever know."

"Really?" I ask as I settle my head on his chest. "Like how?"

"Everything, anything. You're all I've known for as long as I can remember. Things make sense when you're around. You-" he shrugged, "You make things seem okay, you make me think I have things figured out, like things aren't as tough. With you, I've got someone to lean on. I just didn't realise that before."

I nod, let out a deep breath and kiss his chest. "I've always been here, you just didn't see me."

"I know" he said sadly, "If I could, I would you know – I would-"

"I know you would, but you can't, so lets get on with what we _can_ change and make it right."

"Can I ask you something, Linds?"

"Anything," I smile as he traces my arm, lovingly.

"Why have you forgiven me?"

"I don't know, I just have" I shrug.

"Don't you feel you need to like yell at me though?"

I pull back and look at him, "What?"

"It would make me feel better, to know you'd have gotten a bunch of stuff off your chest."

"Is everything is about making _you_ feel better? What about me?"

"Lindsay" he sighs as he sits up on the couch and takes my hand to pull me up with him, "I didn't mean it like that,"

"You never do," I say as I snatch my hand from his and get up by myself and walk towards the kitchen, "I'm going to make some tea"

"You know what Linds, I think this was a bad idea, me coming over here," he says to my back "maybe I should head home. I asked if I could ask you a question, and you've got all defensive. I was only asking. It's almost like you don't care-"

I stare at the door that's in front of me, and turn slowly so that I face him. I wouldn't have minded him saying that, if it weren't for the tone he used.

"You know what, you're right, I don't care. Get the hell out of my apartment." I glare at him.

"Consider me gone," he spat, as he grabbed his shoes and slammed the door shut behind him.

I take a deep breath as the tears roll down my face, tears of anger. And head towards my bedroom.

I'll show him that I don't care…

--

--

"Here, this is how much I don't care" I spit as I shove the box into his stomach, and turn back in the direction I had just come in, "And, for the record, tonight, was anything but me not caring. I would have presumed that moment we had on my couch was evidence of that, but whatever. And also, for the record, as much as it hurt, I had found a way to get along with it, to accept it. But, you can go to hell."

"Lindsay" he whispers as he sets the box down, "I didn't mean-"

"Any of it," I finish, "Believe it or not, I've heard it before. So you can take all this crap I've kept, and shove it up your ass Danny, because I'm done."

"Lindsay, please."

"Don't 'Lindsay, please' me, Danny. You've made your bed; lay in it. I wanted to be there for you, but I refuse to allow myself to be an afterthought any longer. It's always about making _you_ feel better, and what we need to do to make _you_ happy. So as much I loved you, I can't do this anymore."

"Can't do what?"

"This" I gesture wildly between the both of us, "I'm sick of the crap, I was stupid involving myself in someone like you, someone I work with, you're impulsive, I'm methodical. We're polar opposites."

"It's what makes us work, Linds. Please."

"Does it really? Have we ever really worked, Danny?"

"You know we did." He shook his head, "_Do_, we _do_ work Lindsay,"

"In your opinion, maybe. Why did I do to deserve you to lie and cheat on me? What did I do to deserve that?" I question, "Explain to me what I did that made you hate me that much for you to do that to me,"

"Nothing, you didn't deserve it,"

"So why do it?"

"I was hurting, she was hurting, and it was a release of emotions."

I laugh incredulously, "That's your excuse?"

"That's my reason," he told me, "it isn't an excuse, it's what happened."

"You need help, you know that? You've actually managed to justify this to yourself? You didn't even know her, Danny!" I yell, in his hallway, "You knew Ruben, Rikki was just his Mom."

"You think I'm the first person to sleep with someone I barely knew?"

"No," I say shaking my head, "And I'm sure you wont be the last," I say coldly.

"I want to make this work Lindsay, I do."

"What is there to work, Danny? You cheated on me before we had even found a common ground in the relationship. And it wasn't just a kiss Danny, you had sex with someone else. We hadn't even gained momentum."

"You know we had a common ground, Linds. We had a lot more than that. We have chemistry, a connection. We had love, we still have love."

"No we don't, Danny. We have two pasts that have screwed with our heads so much, we need the sense of belonging."

"That isn't true, Linds."

"Isn't it?" I laugh, "That's what it seems to me, what is this connection that draws us together?"

"You want to come in?" he interrupts me.

"What, and sit on your bed? No thanks,"

"Linds, you can't stand out here,"

"Why can't I?" I laugh sarcastically,

"This isn't like you, what's gotten into you? Where is the Lindsay that I love gone?"

"Where has she gone? She left the day you fucked Rikki, that's where she's gone, Danny." I all but scream at him.

"Linds, it's late, come in."

"I want to stay out here," I tell him, "I don't want to go in there,"

"Why? Please, just come in" he pleads with me as he takes a hand, and tries to pull me into his apartment.

"No" I cry pulling my hand away from him and stepping away from him, trying to balance myself as tears begin to fall, "If I come in, I'll see her everywhere. I want to keep my memories I had with you in there safe, she already took you away from me, I don't want her to take my memories aswell."

I feel the tears cascade at a pace that I wouldn't even know what to do to make them stop, until I feel two strong arms, pull me into his equally strong chest.

"Let it out, baby."

I stand there in the hallway and sob as he rocks me gently, uttering words of reassurance into my hair.

"Things will get better" he soothes as I calm down,

"How, how will they get better? Every time I look at you, I remember how I felt, not knowing why you were pulling away from me."

"I know I hurt you Linds. That wasn't my intention, I wasn't thinking straight. I needed somehow of letting go. Lindsay, I pursed you, I wanted to be with you, I waited for you. I wasn't myself when I made that decision."

"I want you back," I sob clutching his t-shirt, "I miss you, I miss my Danny. I miss my boyfriend, my best friend."

"Let me make this better for you, Lindsay."

"You can't" I cry, "There's nothing you can do."

"There must be something," Danny pleaded with me, "anything."

"Make me forget like you made her forget."

He shook his head while still holding me to his chest, "Sorry Linds, but I ain't doing that. I'm not sleeping with you to numb the pain, we have to talk this through, in order for us to work, we have to. I don't want to lose you."

"I want to know what is so special about you – why wont you just leave me alone."

"Because we've been through too much together, Montana."

"Don't call me that," I cry, "it's too hard"

"What is," he asks as he rubs my back,

"Just don't," I cry, "Don't call me that, that's what Danny calls me. You aren't Danny. I don't know who you are anymore," I cry as I beat onto his chest.

"I know baby, I know."

"You don't," I cry, "you have no idea. You left Danny, you didn't even say goodbye. You just left."

"I didn't leave, I was coming back. You knew that."

"You left. You left me a letter. You left me to figure it out by myself."

"I needed to sort myself out. Get my shit together. It wasn't about leaving you Lindsay; it was about leaving what I had become with Rikki, and finding the Danny that could be with you." He whispered into my hair "If you wanted me back," he added.

"What are we fighting for?"

"Because I was a asshole and fucked us up." Danny shrugged.

"No, what are we fighting for, in this relationship, what are we fighting to save?"

"Us, we're fighting to save us. We're fighting to save what was Danny and Lindsay. You remember that right? You and me, Linds, I don't wanna lose you."

I nod against his chest. "Where did it happen?"

"Where? How do you mean?"

"Where did it happen?"

"You mean-"

"Yes, you and Rikki, that's exactly what I mean. Where did you sleep with her??"

He took a deep breath and then closed his eyes. "Against the wall and then on the couch."

"You slept with her twice?"

"What? No! We moved from the wall to the couch."

"Why not the bed?" I ask, "You have something against that or something?"

He shook his head no.

"What then? You were too desperate to make it to the bedroom."

"No." he shook his head again, "I couldn't,"

"Couldn't what?" I ask,

"I couldn't take her to the bed we've shared. We bought that bed together, Linds. I couldn't do it."

For what it was worth, I appreciated the second thought,

"That makes it okay then?" I ask, "Not the fact that you carried on anyway, regardless of thinking of me, obviously. But the fact you moved to the couch, so that it didn't taint 'our' bed with her."

"It doesn't make sense to me," he sighed as he rested against the wall

"Did you use protection?"

He blinked and looked at me deadpanned, "What?"

"It's a simple question, did you use protection?"

"Yes, actually. As much as I wasn't thinking that night, I did have some moments"

"Oh, well thank god for that," I spit sarcastically.

Danny opened his mouth to say something, thought about it for a second and closed it again.

We stood in silence, on opposite sides of the hallway for about five minutes before I see him shift his weight from one leg to the other. "You know the only girl I've ever had sex without protection with, is with you."

"Do I?" I shrug as I slide down the wall.

"Of course you do,"

"Yeah, but I also thought that I knew you wouldn't cheat on me. I was wrong there."

He bit his lip and nodded, "Yeah, you're right. But I'm changing and fixing things."

"You're determined to fix this, aren't you?"

"Damn right." He nods adamantly. "I love you, Lindsay. You're it for me. You're the salt to my pepper. The beat in my heartbeat; the ray in my sunshine. You're the Danny to my Lindsay."

"Wouldn't you be the Danny to Danny and Lindsay?"

"You knew what I meant, I don't do well with sentimental stuff and metaphors." he said as he moved towards me and offered me his hand, "I love you, Lindsay. I know you know that. I screw up, all the time. But I try; I'm trying to make it better for us, for you. I want to make this work. I want to get back to how we were. I miss that. I miss us. Tonight, how we were at your apartment. I want that. I want to get back on track. I thought we were."

"So did I," I shrug, "Some days it's harder to deal with. When I feel myself forgiving you and getting close again, I end up backing away, and protecting myself. I was so in love with you Danny, that I cant do that to myself again. I can't fall so in love with you, only for you to hurt me again."

"I swear to you it won't happen again."

"How can I believe you?" I ask, "Don't get me wrong, I want to. I want to so bad, but I don't know how."

"Let me show you? Prove to you."

"Only for you to hurt me again? I don't think I could deal with that Danny, not again,"

"I wont ever hurt you again, Lindsay. Give me one more chance."

"How many chances will you need until you get it right. Danny?"

"Just this once," he said as he pulled me into a hug, "All I need is one more chance,"

I chew on my lip in consideration for a minute, looking at him, "I'm trusting you, Danny. There are only so many sacrifices I can make before I start hurting myself by forgiving you."

He nods and kisses my forehead "You wont regret this, Linds. I promise"

"I think I need to promise you a few things aswell, actually."

He stands back, and looks at me, "You do?"

"I promise to stop backing away and freaking out. I'm going to try and stop bringing it up. Not only does it hurt me, but also, I can tell it hurts you aswell. And we're never going to get anywhere if we're going 'round in circles. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm gonna try to forgive and forget."

He closed his eyes and kissed me lightly on the temple, "I really do love you, Lindsay."

"I'm tired," I sigh, "Could we-," I ask, glancing into his apartment.

"Are you sure-"

I take a deep breath, "Forgive and forget, Danny. It's one step closer to get us to how we used to be. The sooner we tackle this, the easier it's going to get. If we can get through staying in your apartment, I think we can get through anything."

"As long as you're sure," He said, looking at me, "If you at all feel uncomfortable, or don't want to be there, wake me up and we can go to yours, or hell, I'll book us into a hotel for the night."

I chuckle as I take his hand and lead him into the apartment, "I'll be fine,"

I was just hoping and praying I would be just that. Fine.

**_R&R? Kick my muses' ass for me? Please :D _**


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/N: Major thanks to BEG75 for introducing me to the awesomeness that is this song that I used for this chapter. ;) And huggles to Twinkeyrocks, just 'cause I can. _**

**_Someone kick my muses' ass. Please?_**

**_--_**

"_Stay with me, Two hearts forever,  
You were the spark that lit the flame.  
Oh, and if you,  
Stay with me, this love's forever,  
In my heart you would remain. __U__ntil we meet again.__  
Unity – Kelly Rowland"_

I sigh as I turn on my side and stare at her sleeping form. She fell asleep about an hour and a half ago, but I can't.

I don't want to wake up and realise she's either gone, or this was a dream.

I reach out, and gently put the loose hair from her tiny ponytail behind her ear and place a kiss to her forehead.

All the while trying to figure out why on earth I decided to fuck this up.

She stirs slightly next to me, and I hold my breath, hoping and praying she doesn't wake up. She scrunches her nose in the cute way she used to, and shifts towards me, and snuggles close.

I hesitate for a minute, convinced that I'm dreaming, until she rests her head against my chest. Then I wrap my arms around her and place a kiss to her temple.

"What time is it?"

"One,"

"PM?!" she exclaimed, shooting upright in bed

"In the morning," I chuckle as I pull her back, "Would I let you sleep till one in the afternoon?"

"It's happened before," she giggled as she rested her head on my arm. "Have you been to sleep yet?" she asks with a sleep-laced voice.

"No" I laugh, "Couldn't sleep."

"Couldn't? Or wouldn't?"

"Bit of both," I admit, "I wanted to watch you for a while."

"So, yeah… That isn't creepy." She giggled as I nip her skin. "Ow"

"It was supposed to be sweet," I inform her,

"It was. I'm just playing,"

"So…"

"So…" She smiled.

"Are we okay…?"

She shrugged, "As okay as okay can be."

I nod, "Is that good?"

"I'm still here," she points out, "It can't be that bad,"

I smile and kiss her lightly on the cheek, before she turns and kisses me lightly on the lips.

She pulls back and rests on my chest. I hesitate for a minute, then reach to her face, and turn it towards me, and kiss her lightly.

She shifts in my arms, and wraps her arm lazily across my waist as we both melt into the kiss. Turning slightly, I pull her close to me, and lace my fingers in her hair, intensifying the kiss.

After what seems like forever, and the need for oxygen becoming too apparent I pull away, and look her in the eyes – her tear filled eyes.

"Are you okay? Do you want to stop? You want me to take you home?"

She shook her head silently, while tears fell down her cheek "No. I want to stay here."

"What's the matter then? Is it something I've done? Do you want me to sleep somewhere else. I can get the pull out. Let you have the bed – I'll sleep on the floor"

"No, no it's not that" she assured me while grabbing my arm and pulling me back towards her.

"Okay, so we're clear… are these happy or sad tears."

She giggled as she sniffed and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of my NYPD gym shirt I'd given her to sleep in. "Ish"

"Ish?"

"I dunno," she shrugged as she turned around so she was facing the other way, only to edge her way back towards me, so she fit perfectly into the curve of me curled up. "I can honestly say I didn't expect to be here with you, like this."

"Right," I nod against her shoulder as I wrap my arms around her waist,

"And, I didn't expect to be okay with sleeping here. Knowing, what happened," she trailed off, "I don't – I didn't – I never-"

"Go on," I chuckle at her trying to find the right way of phrasing what she was about to say.

"After tonight I thought that was it, that I was done with you and me." She said, "But, I was wrong," she quickly added.

I nod and kiss her temple, "It's gonna be tough, you know that right?"

"No tougher than what we've already been through," she shrugged,

"Which will make us stronger, you know that right?"

"If you would have let me finished I would have gone onto say that, actually," she mused as she kissed my shoulder that was lazily draped over her.

I chuckle, and kiss her shoulder blade lightly and rest my head on her pillow. Out of the four I have on the bed, we're using one.

Just like we used to.

"Linds…" I say as her chest rises and falls slowly in front of me.

"Mhmm,"

"So you know, all the tears you've cried because of me, I haven't ignored them. I know all this was my fault. But I promise I'll make it up to you. I'll make things right, I promise."

"I don't doubt it for a second," she said as she turned to face me, resting her forehead against mine.

"And everything that was taken – all the memories you were talking about, we can get them back. We can make new ones, better ones."

She let out a small giggle and kissed me on the nose, "That's the best bit," she said, voice genuine.

"Lindsay," I sigh, "I want to say something to you, but I don't want you to get upset, alright? Promise me you wont get upset."

"Why don't I like the sound of this," she sighed as she sat up and turned on her bedside light on.

"Promise?"

"I'll try," she shrugged as I sat next to her, back against my headboard.

"I want you to listen to me aswell. Don't interrupt me."

"Not planning on," she told me, "I don't think I'll be able to, anyway."

"In the letter I left you, I said a few things that I feel I need to tell you in person."

She nodded,

"First of all, and probably the main one is that I Love you."

She smiled and nodded.

"Second, I want you to know that none of this was your fault. I don't want you in an argument or when you're a little upset when you think back further down the line to what happened here and think it was your fault. Because it wasn't."

Again she just nodded, her expression blank.

"And, what I have been trying to say to you ever since I got back, but haven't really found the courage is that… well… Don't ever think that I think of you as a shallow, clingy girlfriend. You have no idea how much it hurt that day to here you call yourself that. And I just want you to know that never for even a second, did I think of you like that. I just knew I had to push you away to protect you. Keep you away from the mess I had created. You're my best friend, Lindsay. You're everything to me. I know I don't say that often, or express how much I love you like I should, but I do. So what I'm trying to say is that I do love you, and I want to make this work, Lindsay. And I promise that I will make up for the things that have happened. Maybe not straight away, or ever for that matter, because only you know how much I hurt you – and if I could, I'd take the pain away, but I can't. So, instead, I promise I'm gonna make it up to you."

"Do me a favour, Danny,"

My heart rate increases – the last time she said that was the result of my monologue I had just given her "Anything," I breathe

"Don't call me Lindsay, you call me that when you're mad at me, or we're fighting."

I smile and pull her into my side, "Anything, Montana."

She rests her head against my shoulder.

"I'm not promising that I'm not going to get upset again," she started "or push you away, but I'm going to try my hardest to talk to you about it. If I find myself pushing you away or something, I'm gonna try and talk to you."

"Same goes," I smile as I kiss her forehead, "All we can do is try,"

"And if at first you don't succeed, try, try again..." She chuckled, "Sorry, my Daddy used to say that a lot when I was little. I got annoyed when things didn't go my way, and lost my patience quickly."

"Really?" I muse imagining her as a 6-year-old with honey blonde pigtails and big brown eyes, "Who would have thought someone as calm and collected as you lost their patience?"

"I know," she shrugged,

"I was being sarcastic," I interrupt. "You? Patient? You gotta be kidding me, remember that Lillian Stanwick case you worked with Stel, and you lost it with Adam on the phone."

She rolled her eyes and pinched my sides, "Trust you to remember something like that,"

"Enough of the pinching of the love handles, Monroe."

"Did I accidentally pinch a nerve instead of some puppy fat, Messer?"

"Laugh it up," I muse, humouring her. "Just wait, I'll get ya sooner or later- when you're trying to shift baby weight, after you've given birth. That's right... you and me, pinching wars."

What I didn't realise that she had stopped breathing about 10 seconds ago. "Montana, you with me?"

She spluttered, "What did you just say"

"I'll pinch you like there's no tomorrow."

"No, no." she said shaking her head, "before that…"

"What, when you're pregnant?"

"That's the one… You think of that?"

"Sometimes." I shrug, "Not very often, but sometimes, when I see a girl and her Mom together. Or a dad with a baby girl."

She nodded against my chest, "Okay."

"Okay?" I laugh, "Okay?"

"What do you want me to say, Danny?"

I think for a minute. What did I want her to say? "Have you never thought of children?"

"Honestly, I don't know. Not really – we were never in the place to think of something like that. Plus, I thought-" she stopped dead in her tracks and shook her head, "It doesn't matter"

"No, go on."

"No," she insists, shaking her head, "Forgot what I was gonna say."

"Lindsay, I can take it,"

"I thought-"

"You thought…."

"I thought with what happened with Ruben that you wouldn't be able – you wouldn't-"

"You thought I wouldn't be able to cope with the prospect of being a father because of what happened with Ruben and how I blamed myself?"

"Yeah, that's what I meant."

"And I agree with you," I admit, "If I was faced with the prospect of being a dad I would probably freak out. It doesn't mean that I wouldn't love the baby though."

"Danny, you're talking to me as if I'm pregnant, you know something I don't?" she giggles,

"No, no… I'm just – just for future reference I guess. So you know,"

She nods, "Danny, can I ask you a question now,"

"Will I like it?"

"I'm not sure," she said looking down at her hands,

"Go ahead,"

"Have you really dealt with what happened? What happened between you and Ruben? Not what happened with Rikki, but what you went through, the guilt?"

"Honestly, I don't know," I shrug. "I'm sure the time will come when something makes them feelings surface, and depending on how I react, I guess we'll know as to whether I've coped with the guilt over time or not…"

"Do you still blame yourself?"

"Do you blame yourself for being the only one that survived?" I counter

"Sometimes," she nods honestly, "Anniversaries, birthdays. Things like that. I blame myself then."

"Other times?"

"Other times, I tell myself that I was a victim just as much as what they were. Dare I say more so than them. They didn't have to live through the horrors I did… The pain…"

"Linds, you don't gotta-"

"I'm just trying to show how it gets easier sometimes."

"But sometimes it's like it happened yesterday?"

"Exactly" she nods as she grips onto my arm, "Danny?"

"Yeah honey?"

"Are we going to be okay?"

"I think so… I hope so…"

She nods silently against my shoulder where her head is resting against it, "Do you want something to drink, some hot chocolate?"

"The way you used to make it," she asks me, "with marshmallows."

"How else would I make it?" I smile as I prod her nose, "You coming, or you staying here?"

"I'll come," she nodded "Give me a minute."

I nod, and kiss her on the end of her nose before climbing out of bed.

* * *

--

I lean against the counter, reading yesterday's paper when she pads into the kitchen wearing my sweats and shirt I had given her, tousled hair, and a small smile on her face.

"Hey Linds, remember him," I ask pushing the paper towards her. "Tyrell Mann"

"Superman" Lindsay chuckled, "And for good reason, 45 college career touchdowns, over 3000 career rushing yards, and he averaged 70.2 yards a carry."

"You always amazed me with your sports stats."

She giggled as she sat on the stool. "Do you remember what you said to me?"

"Yeah," I nodded as my heart rate increased as she handed me the paper back.

"It was so lame," She laughed,

"Lame?" I ask, with my eyebrows raised.

"Let's tackle that question?"

"I did say that" I nod, as the kettle boiled, "I thought you were talking about something else."

Lindsay blushed slightly, as my gaze bore into her. "You gonna get that?"

I shake my head and reach for the kettle, and pour the boiling liquid into our cups, and stirring the mix in mine, and then in her's.

"You counted your marshmallows, Montana?"

"31" she giggled, "One for every year."

"You're such a dork," I tease, "How are you going to fit them in the cup."

"I'll dip 'em," she shrugged as she popped one into her mouth.

"Only you, country girl, only you."

* * *

--

"Regardless Danny, Big was in the wrong."

"He was not," I fight back as the rolling credits of Sex And the City go across my screen, "He freaked, but he went back for her. That's gotta be accounted for."

"Like hell it does. She was there, he wasn't. He was in the wrong. He waited months to get in touch with her."

"She blocked his emails-" I remind her, "She would have got them long before had she not had Louise from St. Louis block his email."

"He was in the wrong," she huffed at me, before chucking a small handful of marshmallows at me.

"Did you just throw marshmallows at me?" I grin.

"Maybe."

"Right," I chuckle, "it's war." I dart across the living room floor, to where she had made herself quite the little cocoon with my duvet. Nudging her to the floor, and leant with my legs, either side of her waist, and tickled her sides.

"You got ten seconds to get of me," she squeaked, as she squirmed underneath me.

"Yeah, like you can do anything…" I tease, "I have you right where I want you..."

I open my mouth for a millisecond, and she managed to shove a handful of marshmallows into my mouth, "Linds," I complain, trying to keep them all in my mouth

"Tell me I win," she giggles, a hand full of marshmallows.

"Over my dead body," I inform her as I swallow.

"That can be arranged," she smiled as I lean down to kiss her, our hands intertwined above her head. Initially the kiss is gentle and loving, but somehow she manages to wiggle her hands out of my grip, and laces her fingers through my short hair, deepening and intensifying the kiss.

"Not here," I whisper against her lips, "You deserve better than my living room floor."

She leans up and kisses my jaw "It doesn't matter where, Danny."

"Are you sure we're even ready?"

"Stop thinking," she scolds me, "Stop thinking of what the right thing to do is, and go with what feels right."

I shake my head, and roll back on my heels, so I'm crouching above her. I bend down, and pick her up, so she's cradled in my arms as she wraps her arms around my neck, and meets my lips in a kiss. I stand up steadily, and head towards my bedroom.

Bending down, I use my elbow to open my bedroom door, "I want things to be right."

"And they will be," she smiled as I move into the bedroom, letting her kick the door shut on the rest of the world.

It was just her and me, in that one moment.

"Are you sure, Lindsay?" I ask as I lower her onto the bed. "I don't want to make you feel you have to-"

She placed her index finger against my lips, and then moved to kiss me, before tugging my shirt over my head, and chucking it across the room. No words passed her lips.

None were needed.

Just her and me- in that one moment told me everything I needed to know.

We were two hearts forever, just waiting for the spark to light the flame, again. Waiting to join as one.

--

**_R&R? It's muchly appreciated._**


	10. Chapter 10

**_Thankies to all those who reviewed last chapter, it means alot... :) _**

**_Heads up, the viewpoint changes half way through, it is clear enough... I think.. Well, I hope so. _**

**_--_**

_"Would you dance,  
if I asked you to dance?  
Would you run,  
and never look back?  
Would you cry,  
if you saw me crying?  
And would you save my soul, tonight?_

_Would you tremble,  
if I touched your lips?  
Would you laugh?  
Oh, please tell me this.  
Now would you die  
for the one you loved?  
Hold me in your arms, tonight._

_I can be your hero, baby.  
I can kiss away the pain.  
And I will stand by you forever.  
You can take my breath away."_

"_Hero" – Enrique Iglesias_

Standing in front of my bedroom mirror, I twirl one last time. Checking whether I look okay.

Just okay? I scold myself. I didn't spend over two hundred dollars on a dress and a pair of shoes to look okay…

Glancing over at the clock, I realise he's 11 and a half minutes late. For a split second, panic spreads over me, thinking that he's changed his mind.

He doesn't want to go.

Of course, the knocking at my door makes all them fears melt away. Tripping over my feet in the ridiculously high heels I decided to wear, I rip the door open and grin brightly at him in a tux.

"Evening Monroe," he says in a thick New York accent with a smirk across his face, leaning against my doorframe.

"Move, wiseass, we're late."

"Limo was late," he shrugged, "Stella couldn't get her hair right. Damn hairsprays these days, just not what they used to be." He teases as I switch my lamp on and shut the door.

"Danny?"

"Yeah…"

"Be quiet."

"Noted," he salutes as he takes my hand, and leads us down the hallway.

--

* * *

"Well, look at Monroe, all dolled up."

I roll my eyes as I climb into the limo, "Shut up Flack"

"Commenting- is all."

"Don't," Danny scolded as he climbed in next to me, "I think she looks beautiful."

I blush lightly as Stella hands me some champagne, "How much is this costing us?"

"City's paying for it," Flack piped up, "A hearty job well done, and they're doped up on cop shows divulging into cop's personal lives."

"I love that you know there is a show that divulges into cop's lives. Means you watch it." I tease as Danny takes my free hand and intertwine our fingers together

"It's set in NYC," he shrugged, "I like to see how badly they screw the landmarks up. Can totally tell it's filmed in LA."

"They don't expect people to be watching it for errors, Flack." Danny mused as he kissed my cheek.

"Expect the unexpected." Flack declared

--

I smile at the other precincts and the lab techs that I converse with on a daily basis as Danny leads me, with his hand on the small of my back to our table.

"How did Flack end up on our table?" I ask, "Wouldn't anyone else have him?"

"He floats." Danny shrugged, "And nobody else would take him. We got stuck with him,"

"I heard that," Flack called over to us as he stood talking to one of his uniforms.

"You look nice," I smile, "Tux's suit you."

"I'm dying in it. Why do I gotta wear a red bow tie, Montana?"

"To go with my red dress, Danny." I sigh, "We have to match."

"The whole room is decorated in red – it's a Valentines Ball, I could have stood out with a tie."

"You look cute in a bow tie," I tease, tracing my hand up and down his chest,

"Easy there, Montana." He warns as he grabs my hand and walks forward, "We might be leaving earlier than expected if you carry on, 'specially with that short dress you got on there."

I shrug, "Long dresses make me look even shorter."

"Don't matter to me," he whispers onto my neck as he places a kiss on my shoulder, "You're perfect. But for the record, that short dress makes you look flawless."

I stand there for a second, watching him as he walks away from me. Danny Messer was a changed man.

--

* * *

I feel two strong hands on my shoulders and warm breath on my neck, "Would you dance…"

"If I asked you to dance," I chuckle in response in time to the song playing, "You asking?"

"I'm asking," he smiles as he holds a hand out, to where I'm sat. Taking it, I let him lead me to the dance floor; slowly filling with other couples either in a relationship or in denial, some partners in the field, the odd few married couples.

And then there's us. Danny and Lindsay. Fitting into a whole different category of our own…

He pulls me close, and wraps his arms around my waist as we slowly rock with the music. Moving my hands to his neck I rest my head on his shoulder, and let him lead. Not that he's really leading, because we aren't really dancing.

"Would you swear, that you'll always be mine?" he whispers into my hair. He isn't really singing with the tune. I'm not even sure if it's a question. But I answer anyway.

"I swear."

He kisses my temple, and pulls me tighter. Not saying a word. He doesn't really need to. It's like the song is talking for him.

Or is it bold of me to think he would want to say things like that to me?

"I hope you're listening," he whispers softly,

"To what,"

"The song," he says as he lets go, and spins me around, and pulls me back into our position before.

"I didn't know you could dance," I laugh, surprised, "That was some move, Messer."

"Not just a pretty face," he grins as he kisses the tip of my nose. "I'm glad we've made it to the other side, Montana. Me and you."

"Me and you," I smile, "Forever and ever."

"Linds…"

"Yeah?" I ask, with my head resting against his chest.

"Wanna get out of here?"

I shrug, "I really like this song Danny, and it's nearly over."

"Linds, baby. Come on… let's go. I wanna spend time with just me and you."

I sigh, and take his hand, "Walk slow at least, let me listen to the rest of it,"

"Your wish is my command," he chuckled as he leads me through the crowds. "It's only got like two verses left anyway."

"It's a beautiful song, Danny." I tell him,

"Nowhere near as beautiful as you," he smiles as he kisses me lightly.

Suddenly, I hear a high-pitched scream and what sounds like a gunshot.

"Danny?" I cry, "What was that?"

His eyes are fixated in front of us. "Don't move, Lindsay."

"What?" I whisper, "Why,"

"I said-"

All of a sudden, I'm being shoved to the floor by his body, and he falls on top of me, protecting me, as I hear another gunshot.

"Danny?" I whisper, "Danny?"

I hear him cough, and slowly he rolls off of me. I sit up, and glance at him.

That red bow tie isn't the only thing that's red anymore. "Danny? Oh my god, Danny?"

He reaches for my hand, and squeezes it. "Get Mac,"

"No," I shake my head, "No. No. No. No. No. Danny?"

"Baby, get Mac."

"I'm not leaving you."

"I'm good."

"Danny you're shot."

"I need Mac, Lindsay. Get Mac."

I have that overwhelming feeling of helplessness wash over me, and it feels exactly the same as it did 17 years ago.

I call for Mac, and instead, I get Sid.

"Sid, I – I-" I don't know what to say. I can't call 9-1-1 this time. We are the 9-1-1. In the next room.

"Sid, you have to do something." I beg

"Lindsay call 9-1-1. We need an ambulance. Call Hawkes."

I hold Danny's hand and search in his pocket for my cell phone with my spare hand. Frantically with one hand I try to control myself shaking, I call Hawkes willing for him to answer.

"Linds,"

"Hawkes, where are you?"

"In the room, what happened, I heard shots fired."

"Danny," I managed before breaking down into tears, "Foyer. Now."

He disconnects the call, and I turn to see Mac standing there. Within an instant, he is by Danny's side talking to him, and calming him down.

I look at him, and realise he's deathly pale. His oceanic blue eyes that usually shine and dazzle when he looks at me, are slowly turning a grey colour.

And there isn't a damn thing in the whole world that I can do to save him

"Don't leave me, Danny." I cry as I grip his hand, "Don't you dare. We just got back on track. Everything's right, now. You can't leave now"

"I don't think I got a right lot of choice, baby girl."

"Danny, no. No Danny. No. You have to. You can't – you have to fight. You have to," I beg him as I lean down to kiss his lips. "Please don't leave me."

"I'm your hero," he smiles weakly at me, "I saved you."

"I wish you hadn't. You'd be okay then. I – you – Danny."

"I love you, Lindsay."

"Don't talk like that, Danny. Don't you dare!"

"I'll be with you, Lindsay. I'll stand by you no matter what you decide to do. I'm here." He takes a deep breath "You made my life, you know… You made the last few years of my life the happiest I've ever been" he choked out. "And thank you for letting me have that one last chance, that one last chance to make things right with you... for letting me love you one last time."

"Danny, stop it you're gonna be fine... Mac-" I scream and cry, "Do something."

Mac stands there, looking at me, "Lindsay, I'm so sorry. I – there's- not until EMS get here, I can't…"

"Lindsay, I love you." He whispers, "I love you,"

"Don't…" I cry as wrap my arms around his head, and pull him into my lap, "Don't. Don't leave me. You swore you'd never leave me again. You made me swear I'll always be yours. You made me swear, Danny."

I feel a pair of arms, strong arms, but different arms, attempting to pull me up, "Lindsay, come on…"

"No," I shake my head, clutching onto my life on the floor in front of me. "No. You have to be okay…"

"Lindsay. Come on, EMS is here."

"No." I sob, "Danny, please. I don't want a hero. I want you Danny."

He turned his head slightly, and kissed my arm, "I'll make it better, Lindsay. I promise. It wont hurt afterwards."

Tears race down my cheek, "What do you mean? Danny?"

"Don't cry, Lindsay," he whispers as he wipes a tear away, moves his fingers to his lips, and then to mine, making me tremble under his touch.

"What can I do to make you better?" I beg as I kiss his forehead, "Tell me and I'll do it."

"Don't forget me," he whispers. "Goodbye Lindsay."

"No," I sob, tears racking my body. "No."

"Lindsay," I feel two arms literally picking me up and holding me close, "Let the EMS do their thing. There's nothing you can do."

"No Flack," I say, beating against his chest. "Let me- I need to do something."

"Monroe." Flack says, "There's nothing any of us can do. It's down to Danny."

"That's not good enough, Flack. I need him," I cry as I rest my head on his shoulder, "He's my Danny. I need him. I can't live without him, Don."

"You can," he soothed, as he held me like Danny did across the rooftops, "Just let the EMS do their jobs,"

"He can't leave," I say, writhing trying to get out of Flack's stronghold grip. "I need him to stay. He can't die for me."

"He's dying to protect you, Lindsay." Flack whispered, emotion overtaking him.

"He isn't dying." I scream at Flack, correcting him. "He can't. I don't want him to. I want him to stay with me. Why does he have to go?"

"God needs him to look after you."

"Yeah, well, god's taken one too many people from me, I need Danny. He doesn't. He has my friends. I need someone Flack, what about me? What about Danny and me? We- I – Don, why are they covering him up. Why? He's not…"

"Flack, get her out of here," Mac bellowed across the room,

"No," I scream, "No. Put me down. Put me down NOW."

"Lindsay, come on, stop it, don't make this harder for me, let me-"

I look up at him, and see the tears falling down his face. I clutch onto Flack's shirt and sob. While muttering the same thing over and over again.

This isn't happening.

--

--

* * *

"Linds, Lindsay… Lindsay… Montana…"

"Mac, no. Don't let them. He's not gone. Keep trying, make them save him."

"Save who, Lindsay?" I ask shaking her, "Baby, you're having a nightmare, wake up."

She shoots up in bed, and within seconds, starts sobbing. "I want you back, Danny."

"Baby, I'm here," I say as I twist to turn the light on, "Baby, you're dreaming. Calm down."

She blinks, and bursts into tears, "You – at the – You died, Danny."

I pinch myself and shake my head, "Still here, Lindsay. I haven't gone, you're gonna have to try harder than dreaming that you killed me…"

"I thought…" she trails off.

"That is the last time I feed you marshmallows Lindsay Monroe." I tease as she's sobbing next to me, "Baby, it's okay. It was a dream. Is all, just a dream."

"It was so real," she cries, as she grips my arm. "You, you died."

"I might have, in the dream. But I'm still very much alive, honestly."

"But, it was so real."

"Dreams sometimes are," I reason, "They hurt sometimes. But, I'm here, and I can make it all better."

"Don't leave me," she sobs clutching onto me, "Swear and promise you'll never leave."

"I swear and promise," I say, slightly worried at how hysterical she is. "Lindsay, sit up. I need you to sit up so I can hold you."

"Make the images go away, Danny." She says quietly. "Just – just make them go away."

"Look at me," I say, holding her face with my hands, "Look at me Lindsay. I'm here. Calm down. I'm safe. Okay? I'm not leaving you. I'm not dying. I'm here."

"But…"

"No but's Montana." I scold. "Now, take a deep breath, alright."

She nods and breathes while hiccupping. "It seemed so real."

"It might have, but it wasn't."

"It made me realise how much I love you. And I can't lose you."

"Everything happens for a reason," I muse, "Even if it means killing me."

She sniffed and clutched the blanket that had been covering us. "Did we…?"

"We did," I nod, "You don't…?"

"No… God no…" she assures me, "I just, my heads a little all over the place. But did we use…"

I nod "We did. I made sure we were responsible… I wasn't sure whether you were still on the pill. And, I didn't think-"

She nods silently, adding the information to the masses going around in her brain.

I lay back with her in my arms and place kisses to her temple, neck and shoulder, trying to calm her down.

"I'm glad," she said after a few minutes

"Glad about what, baby?"

"Glad we reconnected like that. Re-established that part of our relationship. The emotional connection."

"You okay, sweetie?" I ask turning her in my arms, "You're…"

"I love you," she smiles, "A lot."

My heart flutters slightly, "A lot?"

"Yeah, a hell of a lot." She admits, "So much so, it actually hurts."

"That doesn't have to be a bad thing…" I smile, "It's good to love someone that much, and the feeling be mutual, like how it is with me and you..."

She wiped her tears and smiled warmly at me, "You take my breath away,"

"Yeah well," I shrug, "heroes can do that sort of thing…"

--

--

**_Honestly, you guys have no idea how hard this chapter was to write. Few tears were involved here and there... cough LOL. But the muse simply wouldnt let go of it... And i'm dragging BEG75 and Twinkeyrocks down with me._**

**_They made me do it. ;) _**

**_Hope you liked it. _**

**_R&R? It's muchly appreciated. _**

**_Please don't pitchfork me for scaring you all. LOL. ;) _**


	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N: 100+ reviews in 10 chapters? You guys are amazing. thank you so much! *daisy*_**

**_Honestly. It was only a oneshot. _**

**_*note to self* stop writing epic oneshots. LOL_**

* * *

_"You make me breakfast in bed  
When I'm mixed up in my head  
You wake me with a kiss  
I could get used to this_

_You think I look the best  
When my hair is a mess  
I can't believe you exist  
I could get used to this_

_Because I know you're too good to be true  
I must have done something good to meet you"_

_- "I could get used to this" – The Veronicas_

_--_

"UGH!"

"Hey," I smirked as he smoothed out the blanket that she had just crumpled, "Did you get lost with the map I drew you?"

"Supers selling my building."

"What?!"

"The super," Lindsay repeated, as she crossed her legs, on the picnic blanket. "He's selling it. And I can't afford to pay what he's asking for to stay there and own the place."

I sighed as I wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, "Linds… that sucks."

"I know," she nodded, a tear escaping from her eyes. "It's why I'm late. Called me as I was heading out the door, so I marched downstairs and I gave him hell."

"That's my Montana," I laugh as I pass her a plastic cup filled with wine, "Do you approve?"

"I do indeed," she smiled while taking in the generous spread, "A picnic in central park, very sweet Mr. Messer."

"I have my moments. What you gonna do?"

"No idea," she shrugged, "I have till the end of the month, and then I have to move out. But I love that apartment." She sniffed, "it's my home."

"We'll find you somewhere, I promise."

She smiled widely at me and reached for a deli sandwich I had picked up from across the road, "I hope so. Its just gut wrenching, it's close to work. It's big enough, and decorated. I just finished decorating."

"I know baby," I sigh, "I know,"

"And we have so many memories there." She added.

"We can make new memories at your new place, christen all the rooms."

"Not the same," she shook her head.

I nod.

Wishing there was a way I could cheer her up.

--

* * *

I glance up as I hear her slump next to me on the break room couch,

"Someone bought my apartment," she said, sadly. Tears threatening to fall. "The asking price and everything it went through this morning..."

"Baby, I'm so sorry."

She shrugged, "Nothing I can do now… You know, I even looked into getting a mortgage, it would have been tight, but I think I would have been able to manage it. They're coming round after work for me to show them round."

I nod, "Do you want me to be there?"

She nodded, "Please… Because you can do the talking… I'm just – I can't. It's my home."

"What time?"

"Six,"

"I'll be there at five to."

--

* * *

I bite my lip as I knock on her door before letting myself in with the key she had given me, "Montana?"

"In the living room," she called, voice laced with tears and sobs.

"You okay?" I ask as I toe my shoes off.

"No," she wailed, "No."

"Why?" I ask, appearing in the doorway, "Because they're gonna be here soon?"

She nodded from the couch, "I don't want to move,"

"Baby, you ain't got a choice. I know it hurts, sweetie, but we'll find you somewhere."

She sighed and wiped her eyes, "What time is it?"

"Six," I tell her, "They'll be here soon."

She sighed again, "I feel like someone died."

"You're so dramatic," I laugh as I lean over the back of the sofa and press an upside down kiss to her forehead, "Want a cup of tea?"

"Please," she nodded, as she leant up and kissed my lips from her upside down position of me leaning over her on the couch, "the tea bags are-"

"On the top shelf, in front of the coffee,"

She smiled as she sat sideways on the couch and pulled her knees to her chest, "I called my dad, told him."

"What did he say?" I called as I filled the kettle up,

"That he wanted to kick the supers' ass."

I chuckle loud enough for her to hear, "What about your mom?"

"The usual," she sighed, sadly, "Didn't care, she's still mad."

"Still? Crap sakes Linds, she needs to move on. You moved away from home. So what? She needs to get over it,"

"She's still my mom, Danny," she answers through the apartment, "She misses me. Even if we didn't always see eye to eye. I know she loves me, deep down,"

I roll my eyes. The woman was a witch to her – and still is. But Lindsay would defend her to the death, regardless.

Just because she was Lindsay; no matter how much someone hurt her, she still saw the good in them.

"We having sugar or sweetener this week, baby?"

"Sugar," she called, "I forgot to grab sweetener at the store."

I nod, and then laugh because quite clearly, she can't see me.

"You're nodding, aren't you?" she giggled from the living room

"Wiseass," I mutter as I pick the cups up.

"What time is it?"

"Ten after," I say as I glace at the DVR clock set up by the TV "why?"

"They're late," she tells me, "People who live in this apartment can't be late."

I laugh as I hand her the drink, "Did you just say that?"

"I'm grasping at straws, sue me."

I laugh as I settle on the couch. "Maybe they took one look and changed their mind."

She glared at me, as she took a sip, "Not funny."

"It's a little funny," I chuckle as I set my own tea on the coffee table. "I still can't believe you got me drinking tea."

She chuckled, "It's cause you love me."

"I guess," I shrug, "So then, good day at work?"

"Okay, I guess" she shrugs, "Danny, you don't have to make small talk, you know…"

"I'm not. It's a valid conversation. What did you do today?"

She turns her head lopsided and laughs at me, "Why do you care?"

I shrug, "Because I care. No reason, I just care. I can care, can't I? That a crime, Montana?"

She rolled her eyes and decided to humour me, "Well after work, I went to the bank, the store, put the lottery on, and came home. Why, what did you do?"

"Bank," he shrugged, "Needed to sort some things out."

"Didn't you go the other day,"

I nod,

"Oh," she shrugs, "What time is it?"

"Quarter after."

"They aren't coming." She declared. "I just know it."

I bite my lip and take a deep breath, "What if they're already here."

"What?"

"The buyers, people buying your apartment. What if they're already here."

"Then they should have buzzed."

"Oh my god, you're such a dork. Lindsay. Me. I bought it. I bought it for you. It's yours."

She stared at me, "What?"

"Me, I took out a mortgage, and bought it. I know how much this place means to you, and I wanted to show you how much you mean to me, and I guess when you told me, it was just perfect. I hope you don't mind, I just wanted-"

Her knocking me down, and pinning me between her tiny body and the cushions of the couch cut me off, as she planted kisses all over my lips and face. "You did that? For me?"

I nod as I attempt to push her up off of me and sit up. "This is your home, baby. And I love you. I want you to be happy."

"You buying me flowers or taking me to a game would have made me happy. An apartment Danny, I – I don't even know what to say… How? When?"

"When you came into the break room earlier, I had literally just finished finalising it over the phone. I had been down to the bank, and finalised it, but was just checking everything had gone through. They told me they had informed the tenant and was arranging a visit to the apartment."

She stared at me in shock, "So you own my apartment? What are you, my landlord?" she giggled

"No," I shake my head, "It's in your name."

"What?" she asked, shock in her voice.

"It's in your name, Lindsay." I repeat, "I just pay the mortgage for ya. I love you, honey. And I wanted to make you happy. I know this is quite 'out there' but, the opportunity practically fell into my lap, and I grabbed it."

"Move in with me," she whispered

"What?" It was my turn to look at her with absolute shock displayed across my face, "What?"

"Move in with me," she repeated.

"But Linds… I…"

"Move in with me," she whispered as she crawled across the couch and snuggled into my side, while placing a kiss to my neck before nibbling my ear, "I love you, and I want you to move in with me."

"But Lindsay… I… I…"

She sat back, and looked at me, tears filling her eyes, "I'm sorry… I thought… I just thought…"

"I was supposed to ask you," I sigh, "I had a huge thing about it being a fresh start, and not messing up anymore, because of how much I love you, and this gives us the chance to really work on "us", and be a real couple, but someone…" I say as I push her back slightly, and lay on top of her, pinning her to the couch, and tracing my hands down her sides, "beat me to it."

She leaned up and kissed me, "Did you honestly take out a mortgage?"

I nod, "Yep. I did."

"For me?"

"How many times would you like me to say it? Yes Lindsay. I bought this apartment for you. For us. If you'll have me?"

She bit her lip and smiled the crooked smile that she had perfected over the years, "I might be able to make some room for your pool table."

I kiss her lightly, and wrap my arms around her, "Damn right you will."

She giggled and kissed the tip of my nose, "Do I get to call you my roomie?"

I roll my eyes, "No. No you cannot call me your 'roomie' how old are you, six?"

She shook her head, "What shall I call you then?"

"The boyfriend that you live with?" I laugh,

She smiled warmly, and kissed my nose again, "My boyfriend that lives with me."

"You like that?"

She nods as she kisses my lips softly, "I like it, a lot."

"I like you a lot."

She narrows her eyes and prods me in the love handles.

"Okay, more than a lot."

She nodded as she snakes her arms around my waist and pulls down on top of her and kisses me deeply, her thanks flowing into the kiss.

I hold her tight, and melt into the kiss, revelling in her touch. While thinking that this was where I wanted to be.

Forever.


	12. Chapter 12

**_I have no excuses other than I suck, my muse kinda sucks, and we've had a squeeworthy few weeks, so the muse has been elsewhere. Huge thanks to Megs for the ideas this chapter. Twinkeyrocks because i absolutely adore her, and my Makristina, for my banner fix, and now, fic fix. Thankyou for my wonderful banner on DLC, hun!_**

**_Caution : Few of the F words here and there. Damn New Yorkers. ;)_**

"_This time, I wonder what it feels like_

_To find the one in this life the one we all dream of,_

_But the dreams just aren't enough, so I'll be waiting for the real thing._

_I'll know it by the feeling, the moment when we're meeting. _

_Will play out like a scene, straight off the silver screen,_

_So I'll be holding my breath, right up until the end,_

_Until that moment that when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with. _

_Cause nobody wants to be the last one there,_

_Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares_

_Someone to love with my life in their hands,_

_There's gotta be someone for me like that._

_Cause nobody wants to do it on their own,_

_And everyone wants to feel that they're not alone._

_There's someone that feels the same somewhere,_

_There's gotta be somebody for me out there. _

_~ Gotta Be Somebody – Nickelback"_

_--_

"_Well, alright… When you gonna be back?"_

_She shrugged, "Honestly Danny, I don't know. I have to deal with some things back home."  
_

"_You said that last time, don't shut me out. You promised you wouldn't shut me out, Lindsay. You promised,"_

"_And I'm not," she defended, "Right now, I honestly need to be by myself."_

_He threw his hands up in frustration, "See, there we go again, Lindsay. Stop it! Stop dealing with shit from back home on your own."_

"_This has nothing to do with you," she told him, "This is me, not you. Not us. Me."  
_

"_No way," he said grabbing her arm and pulling her back before she could walk away, "Last time, it had nothing to do with me, this time, sorry babe. It's got everything to do with me. I love you, a'ight; I love you. I'm not letting you go through this alone again."  
_

"_You don't have a choice, Danny. I have to… Look, I'll be back."  
_

_He shook his head, "I can't believe you're doing this again. We promised we wouldn't shut each other out, Montana,"_

"_I didn't see this happening though,"  
_

"_What is happening," he yelled, "what's going on this time?"_

"_Stuff," she told him as she threw a sweater into her duffel bag, "Just stuff,"_

"_Stuff that makes you drop everything, request leave, and fly off. I am your boyfriend, Lindsay. I deserve to know."  
_

_She held her hands up, "Look, I don't need this, okay. Just lay off. I'm going. Okay. I am. Don't push me Danny, okay? Just… just… don't."_

_Danny bit his lip and sighed, "I just want to help, Lindsay. That's all I want. I don't want to make anything harder, let me be there."  
_

"_You know I love you, Danny. But right now, I just can't."_

"_Knock the secretive shit off, Montana. Just knock it off. Why cant you just lean on me, let me help you through this. I care Lindsay; I care a lot. Don't you see that?"_

"_I see it!" she yelled, tears streaming down her face, "I see it, alright. It's just, I cant."_

"_Can't or won't?"_

"_Can't," she sobbed, "I want to…"_

"_Well then tell me," Danny cajoled, "Tell me baby,"_

"_I don't want you to…" she took a deep breath and wiped her eyes, "No," _

"_No what?"_

"_No." she shook her head, "Just no."_

"_For fucks sake Lindsay," Danny yelled as he chucked the duffel bag on the floor, "What the hell is your problem. What's so hard about this?"  
_

"_Don't fucking curse at me!" She yelled, "I'm not telling you for a reason!"  
_

"_What's that supposed to mean?"_

_She stood there, in her mad rage, her hands placed on her hips and glared at him, _

"_Don't fucking look at me like that," Danny warned her, "Don't."  
_

_Her eyes narrowed "Don't what?!"  
_

"_You know what," Danny said as he kicked the duffel bag across the room, "fuck it, and fuck you. I'm done,"_

"_Good, get the fuck out of my apartment!!" Lindsay bellowed, "Get out Danny. Just get out."  
_

"_I'm going!!" he yelled as he slammed the bedroom door shut. _

_She collapsed on the bed, tears streaming down her face, her voice barely audible, she whispered "I did it for you,"_

_--_

* * *

He shook himself in attempts of ridding himself of the nightmare that was their last meeting.

That was a month and half ago. And every second since then, he felt his heart break that little bit more, knowing that that's where they had left it, apart from a few phone calls here and there. Either way they were on rocky territory again.

They were going round in circles.

He was stubborn. That much he was sure of. They were stubborn. But hell, they loved each other with all they had to give.

Which was why, he was stood, with a bouquet of daisies, staring at the arrivals screen waiting for her plane to show up on the schedule.

He pulled his phone out, checked the flight details Flack had sent him in a text, and sighed.

Any minute now.

He turned round, and walked towards the meeting point by the exit to Newark Airport.

He pulled his phone out once more, and dialled a familiar number, while holding it to his ear, willing for the person on the other end to pick up.

"Danny?"

"Hey," he whispered at the sound of her voice, "How are you?"

"I'm good, I literally just got off the plane in New York."

"Really?" Danny asked down the phone, trying to sound surprised, "I didn't realise you were coming home,"

"I was gonna call you," she told him, "I wanted to surprise you. I missed you," she whispered down the phone, "Can I… when I'm done, could I… Can I come round?"

"I'm out now right now, Montana. I won't be back home for a while,"

She sniffed noisly, "Sure, I just thought…"

"I could swing by when I'm done,"

"I'd like that," she smiled down the phone,

"Where are you?"

"Grabbing my luggage," Lindsay told him, "Danny, I'm really sorry."

"I know, I'm sorry aswell. We did exactly what we said we wouldn't do."

"Do you…"

"I understand why you didn't tell me, Linds. But baby, I've dealt with what happened to Ruben. I would have gone with you. James meant a lot to me aswell, I know he was your nephew, but I loved the kid, it was tragic that accident Linds. And honestly, I just wish you had told me, I would have been there for you."

"I needed to be by myself. But I really could do with having someone to lean on right now."

"You have that someone. Let me make this better, Lindsay."

He heard her take a deep breath, "it was really hard, the funeral you know…"

"I can imagine," Danny told her, "I just wish you had let me be there."

"You have to understand where I was coming from, no?"

"I do," Danny assured her, "I just wish you didn't feel that way."

"I – I-"

"I'm not saying it's you Montana, it's me. Where abouts are you?"

"Coming out into the arrivals lounge."

He smiled and shifted in his position and took a deep breath, "Lindsay, I love you baby."

"I love you too, Danny." She smiled,

He bit his lip as his heart raced increased, "Montana?"

"Yeah Danny,"

"I'll know it by the feeling, the moment when we're meeting. Will play out like a scene, straight off the silver screen,"

"What?" She laughed,

"Lyrics from a Nickelback song," he told her, "Never mind, just know I love you Lindsay. I love you with everything I have, alright and I just want to make sure that you…"

He saw her small frame through the frosted glass doors, and his heart felt like it was leaping out of his chest.

"Danny?"

"I just wanted to make sure you knew I loved you."

"I do," she smiled down the phone as she nudged the heavy glass door open with the shoulder, as she pulled her suitcase behind her.

_Look up,_ Danny willed her silently, _look up at me baby._

"I'm gonna go, Danny. I have to grab a cab… and…"

_Look up, _he mouthed at her while she was looking down at the floor, _look at me baby._

"And I…"

"Lindsay look up,"

"What?"

"Look up at me,"

He watched her stop dead in her tracks, and slowly glanced straight ahead of her.

A smile spread across his face as he snapped his cellphone shut in mid air and dropped it in his pocket.

Tears filled her already widened eyes as she dropped her phone, tossed the duffel bag that had been meticulously placed on her shoulder on the floor, and let go of her suitcase.

She shook her head as a tear fell down her face as her pace quickened as she raced towards him. He strode towards her, and caught her as she flew into his arms, and wrapped her tiny body around his strong frame.

Wrapping her legs around his waist, she gripped on tight to his neck, burying her head in the crook of his shoulder, letting her tears and emotions flow freely.

"Let it out, baby," he soothed as he rocked her from side to side, as he smoothed her curls down, "I'm here, I got you Montana, I'm not gonna let you go."

"Don't let me go, Danny."

"Never, Montana."

"I don't want to be on my own anymore, Danny."

"When I've been around, Linds. You've never been alone. I'm always here. I've always cared, and I've always loved you."

She sniffed noisly, "Don't let me screw this up, again. You're the one I want my forever with,"

"_We're _not going to screw anything up, Linds. We've got this far, there's nothing that could screw us up, Montana."

"Something's gonna go wrong,"

"We'll tackle that bump when we get to it."

"Why is the drama always about us?" She questioned him, tears falling lightly onto his shoulder,

"There'll be a time when it isn't, baby. Trust me."

"When?" she asked him, "When will that be? Because I can't take much more."

"Honestly, baby… I don't know, but I promise you, here on in, it's you and me. Cause you know what, Linds?"

"What?"

"I found the one that people dream of finding. The one that they love with every inch of their soul. The one that they would walk through hell and high water for. And the one that my forever is with. And baby, that's you. So yeah, it might feel right and something's gonna go wrong, but I'll be damned if I'm letting you go one more time. Third time lucky now, Lindsay."

She nodded against his chest "I need to get my things,"

He set her down carefully, took her hand, and walked a few metres to pick her stuff up. He first picked the cell phone up, and slipped it into his pocket. He then grabbed her duffel bag, and slung it over his shoulder effortlessly, and then, grabbed her suitcase, and wheeled it behind them, "let me carry your baggage Linds,"

She giggled as she rid the tears from her face, "That is the most cheesiest, sappiest, cringeworthyist metaphor I've ever heard,"

"It might be cheesy, cringeworthy and sappy, but, Lindsay, it's damn true."

A smile curled her lips, as her eyes fluttered, "I've fallen way too hard for you, Danny."

"At least I'll always be there to catch you," he smiled.

---

* * *

**_Thanks to all those who reviewed last chapter, *daisy*_**


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: No, your eyes are not failing you, t'is an update for GOODBYE!!! Shock horror, right? lol. The update goes out to makristina for constantly riding my butt for an update and supplying me with my own personal banner selection. Love you chicka! And Megs, cause she's an absolute star, and i love her!!**_

_"Took my hand  
Touched my heart  
Held me close  
You were always there_

_By my side  
Night and day  
Through it all  
Maybe come what may_

_Swept away on a wave of emotion  
Overcaught in the eye of the storm  
And whenever you smile  
I can hardly believe that you're mine  
Believe that you're mine_

_Shared the laughter  
Shared the tears  
We both know  
We'll go on from here_

_Cause together we are strong  
In my arms  
That's where you belong"_

_- Westlife – Unbreakable_

"A well earned coffee," Danny declared as he passed his friend a coffee across his empty breakfast bar.

"I never realised how much crap you had in here, Mess. It's astounding, place is huge. The amount of stuff… How long were you here, five years?"

"Lotta memories, Flack," he told his friend, "Some better than others."

"Take the good with the bad," Flack told him, "good with the bad."

Danny nodded as he sipped his coffee, "I can't believe we made it though, me and her."

Flack snorted, "I can. As soon as you pulled on her pigtails, I knew it was the full nine yards,"

"Did not," Danny laughed as he walked backwards before setting his cup on the counter and pulled himself onto the surface. "I never realised how much I loved her, until… until…"

"You don't gotta say it," Flack told him, "I know what you mean."

"When she smiles at me, Flack… When she smiles, it's like my world lights up."

Flack shook his head and smiled, "Never had you pinned as a sap, Messer."

"Danny Messers are like onions, millions of layers."

"Ain't no plural when it comes to you Danno, one of a kind…"

"Seriously Flack… I love her…"

"I know," he nodded, "It's obvious for the world and it's brother to see that. It's like… it's something else, to say the least."

Danny shook his head, "She's always there. Through thick and thin… she's there."

Nodding, Flack set his cup down on the breakfast bar and pulled over one of Danny's barstools and settled on it, "She loves you," he shrugged, "She's gonna be there, whether you want her to or not…"

"She has my heart," Danny admitted as he set his coffee down on the counter, "whatever happens, it's her, Flack. Me and her."

"You need to be careful Mess, you're getting a little emotional on me. I don't deal well with emotion, remember."

"Hush," Danny smirked, "just sit there, look pretty, smile and nod when you feel it's appropriate,"

Flack nodded,

"You're a wiseass, you know that, Flack?"

"I try," he sighed dramatically, "So go on, you and Monroe…"

Danny shrugged as he jumped down from the counter and tipped the remaining contents in his cup into the sink, "What about us?"

"I sense you hadn't finished gushing about your undying love for her."

"You're shit with sentimental crap, ain't ya?"

"Did I not just say that? Advice and gushing I suck at, I can however, offer sarcastic comments."

"Linds sent you that bumper sticker on facebook," Danny snorted, "my life revolves around dorks,"

"So what," Flack laughed, "And for your information, if you would get facebook, you wouldn't ever have to leave your house if you didn't want. You can find out all sorts on there, ya know, Dan."

"What are you, the spokesperson for facebook. I told you, I ain't joining and typing my life away."

"Whatever," Flack laughed as he pushed his coffee away from him and headed towards the empty living room. "I was dreading this part,"

"It's not as heavy as it looks, honest." Danny said, moving towards the single object of many nights entertainment in the middle of the room.

"It's not that… how heavy it is, I can deal with… what happened on it, not so much."

"What… oh, you mean…"

"Yeah, when you and Monroe tainted pool tables. I cant look at one now without the image of… Oh god, here we go,"

Rolling his eyes, Danny made his way to the box on the floor, "I'm taking my balls downstairs,"

"Oh yeah, that right?"

"Not like that, perv." Danny snorted, "These balls, pool table balls, sicko."

Flack shook his head, "I need a play by play of what you're gonna be doing?"

"No," Danny chuckled, "Get your head around having to carry mine and Montana's love table downstairs,"

"The one day you move Messer, and the elevator is broken. I swear to god, I hate you."

"Suck it up Flack." Danny smirked as he shut the apartment door behind him.

--

* * *

Danny opened the U-Haul van that he and Flack had parked outside of his apartment building and climbed into the truck to secure the pool table balls and accessories safely among the other stuff he felt it was paramount to have at Lindsay's apartment.

Their apartment.

He smiled as he turned in the truck, taking in all his earthly possessions, realising that really, he didn't need them. The only thing he needed, and wanted, was Lindsay Monroe.

And maybe the pool table.

He secured the box on the floor, and wedged his CD collection into the small space next to the box, ensuring they didn't budge while they drove through the ever-busy New York City streets.

He jumped down from the truck and reached up to shut it when he felt a tap on his shoulder, "Flack you coulda just stayed upstairs, I didn't need my hand holding…"

"Hey Danny."

He turned, "Rikki?"

"Hi," She smiled brightly, "What you doing,"

"What's it look like I'm doing?" Danny smiled politely before turning back to the truck, shutting it and locking it in place

"You're moving?"

Danny nodded,

"Oh… Anywhere… nice?"

"With Lindsay. Well, I'm moving into her's."

"Oh… so you and…"

"Yeah, we're back together," Danny smiled,

"I knew you would be," she smiled, "you two are like the modern… modern… I don't know, you're a epic couple to say the least."

He laughed lightly, "Is this a passing visit, or…?"

"I just wanted to stop by, say hello. Apologise…"

"Apologise?" Danny asked leaning against the truck behind him, "For what?"

She took a deep breath, "It's been eating me up for a while, and I just… I didn't… I feel bad in all honesty, about what happened. How Lindsay was treated,"

"I don't mean to sound rude, Rikki… But you don't know Lindsay, why do you care?"

"Had the roles been reversed, I would have hoped she would have felt a little bit of guilt."

Danny shook his head, "Don't compare Lindsay and bring her into what we did, Rikki. She's amazing. She wouldn't hurt me the way I hurt her – she wouldn't hurt anyone."

"I didn't say she would Danny, that's not what I meant… it was hypothetical."

"Yeah well, I'm just saying," Danny defended his girlfriend,

"Look, I haven't come to argue, okay? I just came to give you this. Would you pass it onto Lindsay? If you wouldn't mind?"

Danny nodded and took the white envelop from her, "When she opens it, is it private?"

"Can read it if you want," Rikki shrugged, "I honestly don't mind."

Danny nodded and pocketed the envelope, "I'd offer you a coffee but…"

She smiled and rubbed his arm, "thanks but no thanks, it was just a flying visit. I'm glad I caught you… I'll see you later Danny."

"Goodbye Rikki," Danny nodded as he moved his arm away from her.

He turned and watched her walk slowly down the street, hands in her pockets.

Wondering what on earth the letter addressed to his other half, contained.

--

* * *

"You get lost?"

Danny slammed the apartment door shut and glared at him, "I'm not in the mood for wisecracks, Flack. Can we just…"

"Jesus Messer," he said holding his hands up. "what in the hell crawled up your ass?"

"I don't wanna talk about it,"

"A'ight… a'ight…"

"On three," Danny said as he gripped the underneath of the pool table, "One…"

"Wait a minute," Flack interrupted, as he moved from the pool table, "What's that in your pocket?"

"Nothing," Danny said, stuffing the letter further into the coat pocket. "It's nothing… on three."

"Nah, what is it… it's something."

"Just something Rikki gave me,"

"Tell me you're joking, Danny. You're not fucking around are you?"

"It's for Lindsay," he told him quickly, "she found me…"

"So it's for Lindsay?" Flack asked, "You sure?"

"Positive," Danny nodded handing him the letter, "I swear. You think I'm stupid or something?"

"Come on."

"Where?" Danny asked as Flack made his way towards the door,

"We can get this tomorrow… You need to go and see Linds, give her that letter."

"But Flack…"

"You have enough shit to get sided and put away in your apartment… we have the truck until tomorrow, we can come before my shift starts."

"Sure?" Danny asked, resting against the pool table,

He nodded as he opened the door, "Now."

--

* * *

"Hey baby," Lindsay singsonged from the kitchen, "You guys hungry? I made…"

"Flack went home Linds," Danny told her as he kicked his shoes off, "Can you come here?"

"Everything alright?" she inquired as she appeared in the doorway with her 'Hello Kitty' apron, tied around her waist

He nodded, "We need to talk,"

She stiffened, "Danny?"

"It's nothing bad, Linds… I don't think…"

"You've changed your mind, right?" she asked as she untied her apron and discarded it on the kitchen counter before making her way towards him,

"Not at all," he said as he grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him, "Never."

"Well what then?" she asked, her lips inches from his,

"Us… what happened… Rikki."

"Why must we talk about that?"

"I saw her today," Danny told her honestly, "She came by when I was outside loading the U-Haul van up."

Lindsay nodded as she shrugged out of his grip, "What did she want?"

"To talk about you."

Her eyebrows raised, "About what?"

"She asked me to give you this." Danny said, offering her the letter, "I don't know what it's about…"

Lindsay nodded and took it from him, looking at the writing written neatly across the front of the envelope.

_Lindsay. _

"She gave you this?"

He nodded,

"I'm just gonna…" she trailed off as she headed towards their bedroom, "Give me a few minutes,"

Danny nodded as he shrugged his coat off, "I'll be out here, baby." He told the closing bedroom door.

He took a deep breath, dreading the unknown.

--

* * *

Her hands shook as she set the letter on her lap, and traced the edges of the envelope.

She was itching to open it; her fingers were aching, wanting to open it.

But her heart was screaming, telling her to throw it away. Move on with the rest of her life. The chapter that included Rikki in her life was finished – why go back there? Why re-read a chapter?

She shook her head and took a deep breath, "Just rip the band-aid off Lindsay. Pull it off. Pull it off, Montana."

She swallowed and ripped the letter open and unfolded the piece of paper.

_Lindsay,_

_It has been weighing on my mind for a while now, the fact that I haven't spoken or apologised to you, personally. _

_I never intended to hurt you like I suspect I did, I don't think either of us set out to do that, and I feel terrible that what me and him did, contributed to the reason that you were hurting for the time in which you and Danny suffered the bump in your relationship. Because it really wasn't your fault and you shouldn't have suffered like that._

_The amount of times I have picked up the phone, ready to sift through the masses of Lindsay Monroe's in New York to apologise to you voice to voice, is crazy, but I chickened out each time. I apologise for what happened, Lindsay. Honestly I do. _

_Danny was there when I needed him, and I took his generosity for granted. I took advantage of the pain he was feeling. The guilt he was going through. I know that doesn't make it any different, but I apologise. _

_I'm just sorry that our paths crossed like they did. _

_Rikki. _

Lindsay bit her lip and folded the letter back up and slipped it into the envelope. She stood up, wiped a stray tear from her cheek and moved for the door.

"Did you say you wanted dinner now, or later?" She asked as she came into view of Danny.

"Montana, you alright,"

She nodded, "When did you want dinner?"

"Lindsay, talk to me,"

She shook her head, "It was nice of her to apologise, but that part of my life is in the past. No point bringing it back up." She reasoned, "dinner when did you want it?"

"Whenever it's ready," he sighed half-heartedly, "Linds, I'd really like for us to…"

She stood and shook her head, "No Danny,"

"You don't even know what I was going to say,"

"Was it going to be, 'I'd really like for us to talk about what happened'?"

"No," he grinned sheepishly, as he stood up from his position on the couch, "Well, maybe it was… But Linds, I just want…"

"We should sort your things out, Danny. They can't stay out in the hallway all night. The super said they could stay there for a while, but we're gonna have to…"

She trailed off, as Danny walked across the living room towards her, and placed his rough hands on her soft face, "What did I say at the airport, that I had you. I know this is hard. I know it is, and it's okay to cry Lindsay. You don't always have to be so damn strong, baby."

"I do," she nodded tears threatening to fall, "Because when I don't block it out, that's when I start pushing you away."

"Well baby," Danny smiled as he placed a soft, lingering kiss on her lips, "it's a good job I've had enough practice to push back."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and rested her forehead against his while she stood on her tiptoes, "Make it go away."

"SuperDanny to the rescue," he smiled as he let go of her waist and tilted her chin up so that he could kiss her.

--

* * *

"Danny that's disgusting," Lindsay scolded from her seat of the couch, "seriously, do you not have manners?"

"It just means I appreciated the meal, Montana," he reasoned as he set his plate on the coffee table,

"By licking the damn plate, what are you, an animal?"

Danny snorted, "No, but thank you for that,"

"It's true," she laughed as she set her own plate on the couch, and then shifted in her seat and placed her feet in his lap.

"Your feet are freakin' freezing," Danny exclaimed, "Christ Montana, a little warning, they're like little blocks of ice,"

She shrugged as he rubbed them in his hands, "How does it feel to live with a girl?"

"Different" he shrugged, "nice. Like it's meant to be type of thing. Like I've never known anything different. And that I love you, and this is where I want to be for the rest of my life,"

She smiled widely, "good answer, Danny."

"It got better," he reasoned, "I figured you might kick my ass if I said 'different'"

"It was a close call," she grinned as she pulled her feet away from him, "you're tickling me, knock it off, babe."

"No I'm not," he defended himself as he grabbed her legs and pulled her towards him and moved so that he was pinning her down on the couch, "this would be tickling you,"

She squealed and squirmed underneath him, desperately trying to get away from his grasp, breathlessly, she pleaded with him to let her go, and that he was tickling her, and that he needed to knock it off this instant.

He smirked and carried on.

She reached up, and pinched his love handles, and attempted to tickle his sides with her small hands, until he grabbed her hands from his side, and leaned down, pinning her hands above her head with his hands. He gently, lowered himself on top of her, and watched her as she smiled at him.

"Through it all, baby come what may," Danny smiled as his lips hovered above hers.

She leaned up and kissed him softly, "Promise me you're not gonna let me go, Danny."

"Even if you wanted me to, it wouldn't happen. It's you and me Montana."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him down to meet her in a searing kiss.

Both knowing that their love was unbreakable; and neither would have it any other way.

* * *

**_I really hope it was actually worth the wait. Thankies to all my reviewers last chapter, you guys are fab! *daisy* _**


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N: No, your eyes don't defy you it is a chapter for Goodbye!! The final chapter of Goodbye. The muse had run away for the LONGEST time, but resurfaced to finish this chapter for you guys. I want to thank Makristina for kicking my butt every oppurtunity she had, Megs for being the online muse, and most off all, Twinkeyrocks, cause i wub her lots and lots. **_

_**And big shout out to the DLC girls that inspired some of the chapter.** _

_**I hope you all enjoy it, and it doesn't disappoint.** _

_Hugs!! Laurzz x_

* * *

_E__ach night I pray to the lord above,_

_Hoping she'll never leave._

_I can't help but wonder why,_

_She gives this love to me._

_And when we're old and grey, will I still be…?_

_The air she breathes, the song I sing,_

_Her destiny that tomorrow brings. _

_I give to her, all I am._

_My heart and soul would be,_

_Her everything._

_- 'Her Everything' – George Canyon._

* * *

Lindsay Monroe sighed happily as she mindlessly walked through central park, a doughnut in one hand, a lemon tea in the other. Danny had left her a note on her desk about three hours ago telling her to meet him in central park during her lunch hour.

And here she was. On her lunch hour. Waiting for her darling other half to get his ass to the damn park.

She plonked herself down on a nearby bench and crossed her legs as she took another bite of her doughnut. Pulling her cell out, she pressed speed dial 1, in attempts of getting in touch with him.

She set her tea down on the bench, and held the phone to her ear.

"Who you callin'?"

"You," she chucked as she turned around, "Took your time don't ya think?"

He stuck his tongue out and sat next to her before kissing her on the cheek, "How's work?"

"Fine," she smiled as she offered him a bite of her doughnut, "want some? I bought two, but got hungry. So I ate the other one, so it looks like we're sharing this half of one."

He laughed heartily, and leaned over to take a bite, "God I love you."

"Why cause I buy you doughnuts but eat them?"

"No, just cause you eat."

She chuckled, "Well, what can I say? I'm a country girl."

"You can't use that for everything, Montana. It slowly loses its charm after a while,"

She mocked glared at him before breaking out into a smile, "Whatever. So what did you ask me here for? To look at the daisies? Smell the roses?"

"Close, but no." Danny smirked, "I wanna ask you something, actually."

"Could you not have asked me when I got home?"

"No," he said, shaking his head, "No."

"Riight." She smiled nervously, "well, shoot."

"Actually, it's more of a favour."

"Whatever it is, no."

"You haven't heard what I want yet."

She flashed him a toothy grin "Go on,"

"Walk with me?" he asked as he offered her a hand,

She rolled her eyes, but took it regardless, "You know, people don't believe me when I tell them you're romantic. Like they look at me as if I'm insane."

"I save the best of me for you," he told her with a smirk, "Only let the person I love most in the world see me like the romantic sap that I am"

Lindsay smiled at him before breaking away from him momentarily to throw her rubbish in the nearby trash can before re-taking his hand. "So, what couldn't wait?"

"I want to tell you some things first, Linds."

"Should I be nervous, Danny? No good can come of you thinking deeply."

"Watch it, wiseass." He glared before chuckling and kissing her cheek. "Not nervous," he told her, "just listen to me first,"

She smiled,

"I love you, Lindsay." He started, "And when I look at you, you're where I wanna spend the rest of my life."

Her eyes widened, while a smile tugged at her lips.

"What I'm trying to say is that I wanna be the man that you come home to at night for the rest of your life. I wanna be the man that your kids call Daddy. I want to be the guy that you want your forever with."

"You are that man, Danny. You know that."

"I wanna be the man that can say that you're my wife." He stopped dead in his tracks, and slipped a hand into his leather jacket, revealing a small blue box. "Do me a favour, Montana." He started as he dropped to one knee and opened the box to reveal a small diamond ring. "Marry me, Linds?"

Se dropped the last piece of her donut, and looked at him, "I… I… What?"

"Marry me," he repeated,

She sighed heavily and took his hand, to pull him up from the ground, "Danny…"

"Just a question, Linds." He told her, "something to think about, alright?"

"Can I… think about it?"

He nodded and offered her the tiny box, "Keep that… it's yours Linds… we'll talk later, okay?"

She nodded absent-mindedly as he kissed her forehead, then her nose, and headed off in the opposite direction.

Leaving her astounded in the middle of central park with an engagement ring in her hand.

Wondering what in the hell had just happened.

* * *

"No hits on them prints, Lindsay." Stella sighed as she stood in the doorway of Danny and Lindsay's shared office. The older woman stood for a second, taking in Lindsay's appearance from the doorway. The younger woman looked perplexed. Lost in her own little world.

"Linds, you hear me?" Stella enquired after a moment.

"What? Yeah, no match on the prints…"

"Everything okay?" her friend asked with raised eyebrows, "You seem out of it…"

"No I'm fine," Lindsay smiled, "just lost myself for a minute there… You know how it is… Too much coffee, not enough sleep."

"I do indeed." Stella smiled, "But if there is something you need to talk about Linds, like if you need a friend, you know where I am, right?"

"Absolutely." Lindsay nodded, "thanks Stella."

"Not a problem, Kiddo…" Stella smiled in response, "I was thinking we could go back to the scene, see if anything falls into place?"

"Sure," Lindsay nodded, "Sounds good."

* * *

"I asked you a question." Lindsay said, standing her ground from the other side of the steel table in interrogation, "You answer mine, and I might answer yours… Give and take."

"A'ight." Morris Johnson nodded from across the table, "What is it you want, a confession? Cause I'm not confessing to a crime I didn't commit… I didn't even know the guy,"

"I asked about your whereabouts on the 11th, Mr. Johnson? I didn't ask for a confession."

"But you must be wanting something… I mean, you got me in here… alone"

Lindsay chuckled softly, "You're not my type, sorry."

"You don't mean that cupcake."

"Oh, believe me," She said as she leant across the table, and glared at the man, staring at her, "I do…"

"What, you got a boyfriend?"

"Fiancé actually," Lindsay told him as she sat down, "So, as we were saying…"

As Morris Johnson swore blind and declared he had never seen the victim in his whole entire life, Lindsay let out a breath.

She just called Danny her fiancé.

* * *

As Mac Taylor made his way to his destination, he took a minute to look in the various different departments in the lab.

He had come a hell of a long way since his time, serving in the Marine corp.

He had jumped over obstacle after obstacle, only to fall down again. Specifically after Claire's death. He found that for a significant amount of time, he lost sight in the world. He lost himself in the emptiness that was his life without the love of his life. He didn't see why he should go to sleep, only to wake up a widow. It was a phrase that killed him. Mac Taylor was a widow. He had never, ever when he was stood in Chicago, among family and close friends promising each other forever, that after only a few years of marriage, Claire would have been taken so cruelly and so suddenly.

Honestly, he always thought it would be himself that would be the first one to go. Not her. Never in a million years thought he would have to adjust to what was life without Claire.

But, he had achieved what he thought was the impossible.

He'd moved on, but never for one minute had he forgotten her.

He had recently found the beach ball that she had blown up the summer of 2001. Mere months before her death, initially it hurt. The first time he had come across it, it had broken his heart all over again.

The second time he had come across it however, was different.

Instead of grieving the loss of his wife, and feeling almost resentful toward the object for containing some of her breath, he remembered the good times. He remembered the day on the beach. Back when he had a life, and enjoyed a rare day off, when his schedule permitted him to.

Back when he shared a life with Claire.

He stopped in the doorway of his destination, and took a minute to look at Lindsay Monroe.

He couldn't help but feel slightly proud of the woman that sat in front of him. He was proud of each and every member of his team when they brought a killer to justice, but with Lindsay, there was something more. Her excitement and enthusiasm was infectious, and despite him outwardly groaning whenever she presented him with an infamous experiment to display and demonstrate her findings, he realised that life in the New York crime lab would be dull without her infectious laugh and determination and dedication to bring justice to the victim that had been taken away too soon.

She was a fantastic CSI, and a valued NYPD detective, and he was damn proud of how far she had come.

'_Did you know petting a cat has been scientifically proven to lower your blood pressure?'_

That was one of the first things Lindsay Monroe had said to Mac Taylor. Random trivia at it's best, he had mused to himself, as he had sent her on her way to analyse and collect evidence.

He didn't have the heart to tell her that he had in fact known that petting a cat, in theory lowered your blood pressure.

Along with the fact that no two tigers had the same pattern of stripes.

But, what did it matter? He figured biting his tongue was far more effective than making her feel even more nervous than what she clearly already was.

Instantly, when he had seen, and heard Danny Messer introduce himself, Mac saw the spark. The smiles exchanged were undeniably smiles that, despite a shaky start, a friendship would form on those smiles, leading to a love that the two of them shared.

Which was why Mac was there. He cleared his throat to make his presence known.

"Oh, hey Mac."

"Am I interrupting?"

She shook her head, "No, just finishing up some paperwork, come in. What can I help you with?"

Mac Taylor took a seat across from the woman that had slowly grown, developed, and flourished during her time with the NYPD crime lab, "How are you?"

She smiled as she carried on typing up her DD5, "I'm fine, thanks. You okay?"

He nodded, "Lindsay?"

"Yeah?"

"How are things with Danny?"

She smiled, "Incredible."

Mac fought the smile that was tugging at his lips, "That's good to hear."

Lindsay rolled her eyes and stopped typing at her computer, "I'm not stupid Mac, I know you know."

"Know what?" Mac gasped, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Lindsay simply raised her eyebrows.

"Okay," Mac sighed, "Maybe he mentioned it in passing."

Lindsay chuckled.

"I don't know whether you made a decision already, but there was a little story I was hoping to share with you…"

"You have my attention," Lindsay admitted, "Shoot."

* * *

As she shoved her key in the front door, she sighed heavily and pushed the door open with her shoulder. Instantly, she chucked her bag onto the floor, and dropped her coat, as she made her way into the living room while toeing her shoes off at the same time.

"Danny? I'm home…"

"In the kitchen," he replied.

The lights in the apartment were low, extremely low in fact.

So much so, Lindsay felt the need to place her hand on the wall in order to find her way to the kitchen without crashing head first into a wall or door.

"Danny, the bulb in the hallway gone or something?"

He didn't answer, and instead she heard the small sounds of the breakfast bar in their kitchen being set, and containers filled with food set on mats.

"Danny?" she asked as she finally walked into the kitchen. Instantly, her breath was taken away.

"Evenin' Monroe." Danny grinned as he placed a kiss to her temple, "Hope you're hungry."

"Starving," she nodded as she furrowed her brows at the sight of the kitchen and the meal, stood proudly, waiting for the two to dig in. "What's all this?"

He shrugged, "It's dinner, why? What does it look like?"

"Looks like you did something, or broke something. Or want to go somewhere next weekend."

He chuckled and shook his head, "it's a just because dinner."

Lindsay nodded as he pulled a chair out for her, and tucked her into her seat, "It's Chicken Parmesan, Aiden's recipe…" he explained, "nowhere near as good as hers, but, I do what I can…"

Smiling Lindsay nodded and watched him as he poured her a glass of wine, "Thanks," she uttered, as he took a seat next to her.

"So, how was the rest of the day?"

Lindsay nodded as she stared down at the food Danny had just dished onto her plate, "Okay…"

"Did you get the guy?"

She nodded, "I broke him after an hour and a half interrogation. He went from swearing blind he had never met the victim in his life, to telling me that she had it coming with her 'whorish' ways."

"Whorish?"

"Look, I relay the information," she said as she stabbed some chicken with her fork. "He said it, not me."

Danny chuckled, "Figures. I swear, some people come up with the weirdest shit. I was on the subway yesterday, and heard some mom call her kid a wisebutt. I mean, what's that about? Call the kid a wiseass if you're gonna call the kid anything."

"Didn't realise you felt so strongly about it."

He shrugged, "Other than that, did you have a good day?"

"Danny, what is this?" she asked, a little more abruptly than what she had wanted to sound, "I mean…"

"You mean about what I asked you earlier, and why haven't I mentioned it?"

"Um, yeah." Lindsay laughed, almost sarcastically, "You could say that…"

"Well, the way I see it, nothing's changed, Linds… I still love you. And I'm hoping you're at least thinking and considering marrying me…"

She simply stared at him.

"What? You think I would have packed up and thrown the towel in when you didn't answer me? Linds, I dropped that on you out of nowhere, and if I'm honest, I would have been surprised if you said yeah straight away… I mean, sure, it hurt, you not saying yeah… But, I took that chance. I think you already know that I want to marry you, and I figured why waste time? I've been thinking about it a lot recently, and I realised that I want to be with you for the rest of my days. The way I see it, we've said goodbye too many times now, Linds… And each and every time it doesn't work… we end up back in the other's arms, despite how hard we push each other away. Things change, but our love doesn't. It stays the same. Cause if it did change, we wouldn't be here."

"It can get stronger, so in a way, it can change." Lindsay commented, still trying to process some of Danny's monologue.

"Okay, so things change, and those things make our love grow stronger, better?"

She giggled softly and nodded.

"So, it was just something to think about, alright… The ring isn't going anywhere, and neither am I… So, when you're ready… let me know."

Lindsay nodded as she took a sip of her wine, while gazing down at the steaming plate of food in front of her. She raised herself off the barstool for a second and shoved her hand in her pocket, before pulling something out. She slid the small box across the breakfast bar, and met Danny's gaze with her warm chocolate eyes.

"Ask me again." She asked.

He narrowed his eyes at her, and blinked, "Linds…"

"Ask me again," she whispered

He turned in his barstool, and took her hand, "Marry me, Linds."

She nodded, and simply whispered, "Yes."

* * *

Hours passed as the couple lay together on their couch, listening to the sounds of a ranger's game in the background as the conversation flowed easily between the two.

Lindsay sighed as she traced the muscles on Danny's toned stomach, through his wifebeater that constantly clung neatly and effortlessly to his skin. "Why do you love me?"

"God, here we go," he mused as he sat up couch before twisting on his side, wrapping Lindsay in his arms, "Do you want the list?"

"I feel it's a requirement to request such a thing as your fiancée."

"You really want to know?" he asked as he pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose, "Really?"

Nodding against his chest, she twisted to look at him, "I really, really do."

"This is where I feel most at home," he admits, "With you, it fits."

Smiling, she pressed a kiss to his bare shoulder. "Anything else?"

"Christ, you're fishing for compliments, aren't you?"

She grinned cheekily before shrugging dramatically, "It's nice to hear these things once in a while."

"And proposing marriage isn't good enough?"

"To be fair, Danny, you proposed when I had a doughnut in my hand, so you know…"

"Alright, my timing wasn't all that good, but you can't say it wasn't the worst proposal in the world."

"No, it wasn't too bad." She smirked, "Stop changing the subject. I want to know what you love about me."

He sighed dramatically as he tried to disguise a smile that was tugging at his lips, "You're breathtakingly beautiful, day and night. You make me laugh; hell you make me cry with laughter with some of the things you come out with. You're witty, and a wicked sense of humour."

Rolling her eyes, she chuckled. "Is that all you have?"

"You got a smokin' hot body." He shrugged as he glanced at the TV.

"Be nice," she glared at him.

"I am, I would love someone to say that to me, all the hours I spend in the gym,"

"You're such a bullshitter," she scolded, "You have never stepped foot in a gym, all you do is press ups, sit ups, and holding me against the wall, that's where you get your muscles from."

He sighed dramatically, "You've found me out. The method to hotness that is Danny Messer. Having sex with Lindsay Monroe against the wall and on pool tables"

"And in storage closets in the lab," she quickly added.

"And in our office."

"We said we wouldn't talk about that, Danny."

"Montana, not many people can say they've had sex in the crime lab, it's -."

"So…" She smiled, in attempts of swiftly changing the subject, "Anything else that you love about me?"

"You're the girl I want my mommy to meet as my fiancée."

A huge smile split crept across her face.

"Go on then," he sighed, "what do you love about me?"

Shrugging, she shifted in his arms. "Dunno,"

"_Dunno_?" he gasped audibly, "_Dunno_? You don't know?"

Sighing dramatically, Lindsay squirmed out of his arms and sat across from him, cross-legged on the other side of the couch.

"Come on," he laughed as he gently moved her socked feet onto his lap, "Stop holding out on me,"

"I just do" she shrugged honestly, "I love everything about you."

"Everything?"

"Everything," Lindsay nodded, "There's too much I love for me to be able to narrow it down and give it you in words."

"You're a sap," he laughed as he leant forward and to pick the two empty cups up off the coffee table in their living room, "You want another drink?"

"I'm hungry," she whined as she laid her head back on the couch, so that she was looking at Danny, who was now stood, upside down, "make me some food,"

"Since when did I become your maid? Go make your own."

"As your fiancée, I think you should make me food." Lindsay declared. "I mean if you really, really loved me, you would."

"What do you want?" he sighed

She shrugged as she sat up and turned, "food."

"Define food, woman. What do you want? Seen as you demolished that Chicken parm. Want me to whip up some pizza, I think we got a frozen one in the freezer."

"Is that all you cook?" she huffed "Carbs?"

"I'm Italian," he reminded her, "My mom taught me how to cook."

"What's wrong with vegetables? Hell, a salad? Since you moved in I've gained like three hundred pounds"

"Three words. Eat a salad." Danny smirked as he headed off into the kitchen.

"That was a cheap shot, Messer."

"In my defence," Danny laughed as he poked his head round from the kitchen into the living room, "you walked into that."

She laughed and rolled off the couch with a thud, before padding into the kitchen, "so I have a question,"

"Go on then," Danny mused as he closed the microwave door.

"What's that?"

"That's your question?" he sniggered as he glanced over his shoulder.

"Well no, it wasn't… but what is that?"

"Chocolate cake." Danny replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world as he unwrapped cling film from the plate that held the two slices of the cake. "Why, what does it look like?"

"No," She shrugged, "I just didn't realise we had anything like that."

"I bought it for dessert," he explained, "from the bakery that you love. I wanted to get you one of those cinnamon swirls you love so much, but they were all out."

She smiled as his gesture and his obvious thinking and remembering what dessert she liked. She accepted the spoon he handed her, and followed him into the living room.

"You had a question for me," he reminded her.

"Oh yeah," she laughed as she sat down next to Danny on the couch, before digging her spoon into one of the pieces of cake he was holding against his chest. "Did you ever see yourself falling in love?"

Danny smiled as he licked the chocolate sauce from his spoon, "Why?"

She shrugged, as she took another bite of chocolate cake, "I just wondered. I was thinking today about how much you've changed over the years, and when I first moved here, it just… It seemed like the last thing you were looking for was somebody to spend the rest of your life with."

"You're exactly right," he admitted, "I even, laughed at the very idea when Mac told me I could fall in love."

"Mac said that?" She asked, genuinely intrigued.

Danny nodded, "He told me that love could happen to me. I thought he was crazy. I mean, the closest I had come to love, other than the love for my mom was, well… no-one."

Lindsay laughed, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh, it's just… I can't…"

"Can't what, Montana?" Danny glared at her as he licked some chocolate from his lips,

She shrugged as she tapped her chocolate covered spoon against his nose, "I just, I always figured that you forever had a girlfriend, I mean weren't you the unofficial playboy of the crime lab."

"I don't even know where the hell that came from!" Danny told her as he attempted to lick the chocolate from his nose, "'cause it's far from the truth, let me assure you. I had one girlfriend, to my recollection after you moved to New York, and she was called Wendy" his brows furrowed, "Or was it Cindy?"

"Honestly, it doesn't matter. I don't need names and addresses of the exes." Lindsay chuckled

But, back to what you said, you're right… Initially I didn't anticipate falling in love. But, I did. "

Lindsay laughed as she kissed the tip of his chocolate covered nose, "I got to talking to Mac earlier and…"

"You're so busted," Danny told his fiancée. "He told you, didn't he?"

"Told me what? I know not what you speak of."

Danny rolled his eyes, "Alright, whatever, I'll let it slide."

"Very noble of you," Lindsay teased him, as she licked her lips to rid them of the chocolate.

"I asked you a question before, and you still haven't answered me," Danny informed her, "What do you love about me?"

Lindsay thought for a moment, "Right now, the first thing that comes to mind is how you took it upon yourself to leave and find closure to what happened regarding Rikki and Ruben. I mean, I honestly couldn't see a future between us after that happened, especially after you left."

"You knew I was coming back though, right?"

She nodded in response, "it still didn't mean you would have changed back to who you used to be though. Although…"

"Although what?" he pressed,

"I kind of hoped you would," she admitted, "I wanted the carefree Danny back."

"Did you get him back?" he asked her, holding his breath as he waited for her answer.

She nodded instantly, "I got him back, and more."

Bending forward, Danny kissed her forehead, "I'm sorry I did that to you. To us."

She shrugged, "Everything happens for a reason, that's how I see it."

He chuckled softly, and moved slightly, "Maybe for once you're right."

Lindsay's eyes widened as she gasped, "For _once?!_ Oh you _better_ run, cowboy! I'm always right!!"

Danny smirked as he jumped over the arm of the chair and darted in the direction of the bedroom.

* * *

"What was that?" She asked

"Left hand, yellow."

"My left hand is already on yellow," Lindsay told him through gritted teeth, "Spin it again,"

"I'm struggling to keep myself up, let alone spin the damn…"

"SPIN the damn thing," Lindsay instructed,

"Left food, green,"

Lindsay complied and moved her left foot onto a green dot.

"Remind me whose idea was it to play twister?" She spat as she effectively, and successfully twisted herself into a pretzel.

"Yours," Danny answered instantly. "Your turn to spin it," he told her.

She sighed dramatically, and with her free hand, spun the twister dial, "You know, technically this is cheating?"

"What's cheating?" Danny asked as he tried to keep his breathing constant and steady, "playing twister?"

"No," she snorted, "Moving our hands to spin the dial, it's cheating because you're not supposed to move, 'cause if you move then you're out and…"

"Lindsay, honestly, I don't think anyone is gonna know we cheated while playing twister. And even if they did, why the hell would they care? I won't lose sleep. Nobody will know we were rebellious and cheated"

"I'll know," she admitted quietly.

He chuckled, "What I gotta do?"

"Right foot, blue."

He complied, but misplaced his footing, and slipped, causing both himself and Lindsay to tumble to the floor.

"OW!" Lindsay groaned, "Danny, you're crushing me."

"I am not," he retorted as he rolled off of her and laid on his side, "God you're such a wimp."

"A wimp?" she snorted, "You want to break out guitar hero, see how much of a wimp I am then?"

"No, no." Danny assured her, adamantly. "There's only so many times I can lose before it starts to deflate my ego."

"That's what I thought," Lindsay laughed heartily as she stood up, and grabbed the edge of the twister floor mat, and whipped it up from floor, making Danny tumble onto the hardwood floor underneath him.

"Hell hath no fury like a Montana girl," Danny muttered as he rubbed his elbow, "Jesus Linds, a little warning?"

She smiled sweetly as she folded the game and set it back in its box, "What game do you want to play now?"

"What is this, game night at the Messer's? Chill out, Linds. The Yankees were playing earlier, could catch the highlights…"

"But…"

"What?" Danny sighed audibly, "what?"

She shrugged as she tossed the box, containing twister onto the chair opposite the couch, "I figured with you being all hot and bothered from playing twister and guitar hero, you might…."

"Might what?" he questioned as Lindsay sunk down on the couch, "What might I do?"

"You might considering sharing the cold water with me in a shower."

"Cold? Montana, you know usually it's… Oh wait, you meant."

She smirked and wiggled her eyebrows, "I hear it's good for water conservation with there being a shortage and all."

Danny furrowed his eyebrows, "Linds are you sure? I don't think there's a water shortage anywhere…"

She rolled her eyes.

"Oh," Danny coughed as he realised what she was hinting at, "Well, if you heard that," Danny said as he switched off the TV, "Then it looks like we gotta share a shower."

She giggled as he stood up from his position on the floor and scooped Lindsay up from the couch. He carried her from the living room, and threshold of their bedroom, before chucking her on their bed.

"Danny, I thought we were…"

He let himself fall onto the bed next to her, and instantly caught her lips in a searing kiss, "I made an executive decision,"

She let out a small laugh as she slowly unbuttoned his jeans, "what might that be,"

"To skip the shower," he shrugged as he rolled her over, "What might Miss Control freak over here say to that,"

She bit her lip in contemplation before shoving Danny to the side, and pulling his wifebeater over his head, "She might be okay with that."

"You sure?" Danny smirked as he pressed a kiss to her lips,

"No," she chuckled in response, "But I'll work on that,"

"Work on what," he whispered against her skin as he lightly kissed her neck, "Not being in control or listening to me,"

"Well…" she gasped at the sensation of Danny nibbling at her neck, "Sometimes… in a… marriage… you have to… give and take…"

He pressed one final kiss to her neck before turning her, so she faced him on the bed, "I love you, you know that right?"

She nodded as her lips crashed down on his, demanding dominance.

Sometimes something's weren't supposed to change. Like Lindsay and her fun-loving, childlike ways, which effortlessly complimented her seriousness through hours of work. She was a perfect example of how it was possible to be exactly who you wanted to be.

And other times, something's were supposed to change. Like Danny, and the way in which he had completed a 180 over the past few months.

And, despite all of the things that happened between the two of them, they had made it through and that was all that mattered. In reality it didn't matter what changed, or what didn't change.

No more messing around.

No more goodbyes.

As far as they were concerned it was them; together. Forever. Through the high and the lows.

Sure, they would throw profanities and insults back and forth through arguments, and scream and yell goodbye at each other when the heat got turned up in their relationship.

But, both of them knew deep down that it was only ever see you later.

Never goodbye.


End file.
